The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava.
"The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus, the number of students enrolled in our public schools will soon decrease dramatically, and we can safely reduce the funds budgeted for education during the next decade. At the same time, we can reduce funding for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities. As a result, we will have sufficient money to fund city facilities and programs used primarily by adults, since we can expect the adult population of the city to increase."
The argument is about the planning for a ten- year budget of Calatrava city. It is said that the birthrate in this city is decreasing and it has declined one-half compared to five years ago. Based on this argument the committee estimates that the number of students who want to enroll in the school will decline and the education system will need less budget. Also, the amount of budget for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities will be reduced. So, officials can have more money for spending on facilities and programs for adults. They also estimate the adult population of the city will increase. This argument has some weaknesses that I will discuss.
The committee fails to provide persuasive statistical figures about the argument mentioned above. There is no figure for the amount of decreased birth rate. According to what figures the committee knows that the amount of birth rate has declined. Also, we have to understand how the officials know that the decline of the birth rate will stay stable in the future and the number of students will decrease. If the rate of birth increases, the result of the argument mentioned above will be reversed and the officials will face the scanty budget. Therefore, they cannot spend money on programs for adults.
Even if the rate of birth decreases, how the officials know that they will need less budget for their education system and recreational facilities. How do they know that the costs of the education system and recreational facilities will remain stable? How do they know that the adult population of the city will increase? It is possible that the number of them decreases because of different reasons such as death as a result of accident, illness and something like these. In this condition, they will not need an extra budget for spending money on facilities and programs for adults.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 314 350
No. of Characters: 1522 1500
No. of Different Words: 137 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.21 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.847 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.487 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 105 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 75 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.444 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.405 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.444 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.34 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.467 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.121 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, if, so, therefore, such as, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 19.6327345309 36% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 34.0 55.5748502994 61% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1558.0 2260.96107784 69% => OK
No of words: 314.0 441.139720559 71% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.96178343949 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.20951839842 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55237839714 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 139.0 204.123752495 68% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.442675159236 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 483.3 705.55239521 68% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 35.7805813256 57.8364921388 62% => OK
Chars per sentence: 86.5555555556 119.503703932 72% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.4444444444 23.324526521 75% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.5 5.70786347227 44% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 3.0 5.15768463074 58% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.156877518649 0.218282227539 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0645311498627 0.0743258471296 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0903365928402 0.0701772020484 129% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.118055027411 0.128457276422 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0924499057353 0.0628817314937 147% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 14.3799401198 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 48.3550499002 130% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.197005988 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.19 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.55 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 61.0 98.500998004 62% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Minimum four paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.