The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava.
"The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the number of students enrolled in our public schools will soon decrease dramatically, and we can safely reduce the funds budgeted for education during the next decade. At the same time, we can reduce funding for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities. As a result, we will have sufficient money to fund city facilities and programs used primarily by adults, since we can expect the adult population of the city to increase."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
An argument claims that birthrate is declining considering statistics about last year: birth rate about one-half as compare to five years ago. Due to that flux of the students will be decereased for enrolling in public school. Also, there will few pupils they have an interest in sports; so school authority manage to reduce budget in such activities and use that money for city facilities and programs specifically for adults. As a result population of the adult will be increased. Stated in this way argument fails to mention several points based on that it could be evaluated. The conclusion relies on an assumption that has a not strong evidence. As a result the author's conclusion is unsubstantitated and unsupported.
Firstly, the argument readily assumes that last yearn birth-rate is low as compare to five years ago; so, less students join the public school. This is merely an argument without solid background. Here, I would like to mention that, there is no any connection between the birth rate and school enrollement. Consider the scenario where birth rate significantly decreased in last year; but, many foreigner people live in the city and their children study in the public school. Also, It might be possible some parents have tendency to start the school at later age. Hence, those children start their school lately as compare to regular children. Therefore, this argument has a no strong proof to raise a claim.
Secondly, the argument claims that higher authorities will able to reduce their education funds because of less children enrollment. This is again very weak and unsupported statement made by top council. Consider the scenario where high school students currently doing their research in science and technology; so, they require a copious amount of money. Hence, it is worthless to decline the budget for public school. The argument only considers the new students, that will be enrolled. But, what about the existed students? Therefore, this argument is unplausible. Apart from this, argument also mention the curbing budget for sports and that money they will able to use for adult program. Again, argument does not provide any evidence of the students who intrested in sports. It might be possible all enrolled students like to play different kind of games. Thus, this claim is again worthless.
Lastly, argument readily assumes that money will be use in adult program and it will be fostered the adult population. Consider the senario where particular county organizes special programs, but neighbour citizen have a no interest in it. So, they will never prefer to live in that county based on particular programs organized by government. Also, just organizing programs do not ensure the population of adult will increase. It depend on lot of other factors rather than just public programs.
To conclude, the author's argument unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster it further, the author must represent the relevant facts with respect to critical information related to the arguments. It could be considerably strengthened if author mentions all relevant facts. As a result, without compelling proofs the author's conclusion has a no legs to stand.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 34 15
No. of Words: 515 350
No. of Characters: 2603 1500
No. of Different Words: 241 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.764 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.054 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.64 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 199 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 148 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 112 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.147 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.198 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.676 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.244 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.422 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.048 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 429, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...s and programs specifically for adults. As a result population of the adult will b...
^^
Line 1, column 668, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... a not strong evidence. As a result the authors conclusion is unsubstantitated and unsu...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 107, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun students is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...s low as compare to five years ago; so, less students join the public school. This i...
^^^^
Line 5, column 243, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
... I would like to mention that, there is no any connection between the birth rate a...
^^
Line 9, column 108, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun children is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...reduce their education funds because of less children enrollment. This is again very...
^^^^
Line 13, column 432, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'depends'?
Suggestion: depends
...e population of adult will increase. It depend on lot of other factors rather than jus...
^^^^^^
Line 17, column 18, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... public programs. To conclude, the authors argument unpersuasive as it stands. To ...
^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 313, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...a result, without compelling proofs the authors conclusion has a no legs to stand.
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, if, lastly, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, thus, apart from, kind of, as a result, with respect to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 57.0 55.5748502994 103% => OK
Nominalization: 29.0 16.3942115768 177% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2688.0 2260.96107784 119% => OK
No of words: 515.0 441.139720559 117% => OK
Chars per words: 5.21941747573 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.763781212 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71336834966 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 258.0 204.123752495 126% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.500970873786 0.468620217663 107% => OK
syllable_count: 818.1 705.55239521 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 4.96107784431 302% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 34.0 19.7664670659 172% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 22.8473053892 66% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 38.2363008917 57.8364921388 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 79.0588235294 119.503703932 66% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.1470588235 23.324526521 65% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.11764705882 5.70786347227 72% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 19.0 6.88822355289 276% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.107436854645 0.218282227539 49% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0246438971116 0.0743258471296 33% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0547143140164 0.0701772020484 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0618987930584 0.128457276422 48% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0614131030405 0.0628817314937 98% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 14.3799401198 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.25 48.3550499002 116% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.4 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.21 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 125.0 98.500998004 127% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.1389221557 72% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.