The following appeared in a recommendation from the president of Amburg's Chamber of Commerce.
"Last October the city of Belleville installed high-intensity lighting in its central business district, and vandalism there declined within a month. The city of Amburg has recently begun police patrols on bicycles in its business district, but the rate of vandalism there remains constant. We should install high-intensity lighting throughout Amburg, then, because doing so is a more effective way to combat crime. By reducing crime in this way, we can revitalize the declining neighborhoods in our city."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities.
The recommendation provided by the president of Amburg's Chamber of Commerce states that the best way to combat a crime is to install high-intensity lightning in business district that will result in revitalize the reducing neighborhoods in our city. However, before this recommendation can properly be evaluated, author needs to provide the following three more evidences .
Firstly, author is comparing a two different business districts criminal scenarios. In order to do so author should provide details about the Belleeville district and Amburg district. These two cities may have a different financial conditions. People from these districts may have a differed mindsets. Maybe Amberg district's litterecy rate is lower hence people are un employeed which resulting in increase of crime in Amberg. If either of these scenario is true then, the writer's main argument is significantly weaken.
Secondly, another deficiency in author's argument is that he assumed that people will do less crimes in high-lightning. Hence, author should provide more evidence regarding this assumption. There maybe a chance that criminals might did crimes in high lightining but those crimes were never reported. If criminals are doing a crime vigorously then they will not consider, there exist a lightning or not. Hence, the author's recommendation does not hold water.
Moreover, the writer mentioned that police patrols do not reduced vandalism in the city of Amber. So, the author is considering there is no impact of patrols on criminals. There maybe a chance that criminals got aware of a patrol timing of police hence they are avoiding crimes during that period of time. Hence, author's assumption is possibly false.
In conclusion, the argument provided in prompt as it stands now considerably flawed due to its reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. If author is able to provide above three evidences then it will be possible to evaluate the viability of the proposed recommendation.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 309 350
No. of Characters: 1641 1500
No. of Different Words: 178 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.193 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.311 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.933 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.263 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.354 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.947 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.296 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.348 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.059 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 2 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 372, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ovide the following three more evidences . Firstly, author is comparing a two di...
^^
Line 2, column 233, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'condition'?
Suggestion: condition
...o cities may have a different financial conditions. People from these districts may have a...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 292, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...from these districts may have a differed mindsets. Maybe Amberg districts littere...
^^
Line 2, column 442, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this scenario' or 'these scenarios'?
Suggestion: this scenario; these scenarios
...crease of crime in Amberg. If either of these scenario is true then, the writers main argument...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 514, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'weakened'.
Suggestion: weakened
... writers main argument is significantly weaken. Secondly, another deficiency in autho...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 89, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun crimes is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
... is that he assumed that people will do less crimes in high-lightning. Hence, author...
^^^^
Line 3, column 413, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...re exist a lightning or not. Hence, the authors recommendation does not hold water. Mo...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 290, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...ce they are avoiding crimes during that period of time. Hence, authors assumption is possibly ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 140, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...nce on several unwarranted assumptions. If author is able to provide above three e...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, hence, however, if, may, moreover, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 11.1786427146 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 55.5748502994 70% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1674.0 2260.96107784 74% => OK
No of words: 309.0 441.139720559 70% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.41747572816 5.12650576532 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.1926597562 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.00031909507 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 204.123752495 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.582524271845 0.468620217663 124% => OK
syllable_count: 530.1 705.55239521 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 44.7136782136 57.8364921388 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.1052631579 119.503703932 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.2631578947 23.324526521 70% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.68421052632 5.70786347227 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 0.0 8.20758483034 0% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.149292741111 0.218282227539 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0440659862265 0.0743258471296 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0567603796956 0.0701772020484 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0829602289354 0.128457276422 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0718451947396 0.0628817314937 114% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 14.3799401198 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 46.78 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.86 12.5979740519 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.08 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 98.500998004 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.