The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia.
"Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades, food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavour additives for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
It is stated in the prompt that use of Salicylates in food are reducing the problem of headache in residents of Mentia. Additionally they also support the argument by stating that, Salicylates are the member of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine which is use to treat headache. Recently food processing company has found that Salicylates can be used to add flavour for food and with this use of Salicylates they expect a steady decline in the number of headache. However before coming to this conclusion few question need to be answer.
To begin with, is there any side effect of consuming more Salicylates? Or is it safe to consume more Salicylates in regular meal? As, many foods are naturally rich in these Salicylates, so there is no need to add more in regular meals. If consuming more Salicylates leads to serious health problem than this idea may lead to big failure. People in the region of Mentis will suffer from different health problems and this health problem may be more dangerous than head ache. If this turns out to be true than many people in the region of Mentis will fall ill which may also lead to death so some people.
Secondly, what is the proof that over twenty years decline in average number of headache is due to consuming more Salicylates? Maybe in twenty years there is change in government law and rules which may have reduce the work load and this may have result to less stress on people around the Mentis and result of that are fewer headaches. Or level of pollution from past twenty years is reducing and due to clean environment people are not getting headache. Or due to improvement in the field of medication people are consuming other medicine which leads to average decrease in the headache. If any of this is true than statement made in the prompt that, rise in use of Salicylates in past twenty years reduce the average problems of headache does not hold the water.
Finally, what if by adding artificial Salicylates in the food increases more health problems? As it is said in the prompt that many foods are naturally rich in Salicylates. As they are naturally there in the food so there is no health problem but adding artificial Salicylates may create a problem. As natural food is hundred times better then artificial. Maybe by adding artificial Salicylates will reduce the headache but it may give birth to other problems. If this turns out to be true than it may cause more problems and people of Mentia have to suffer more from other health issue.
In conclusion, if all this above question are answer by giving more evidence than it will help to strengthen the argument.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 462 350
No. of Characters: 2136 1500
No. of Different Words: 179 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.636 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.623 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.465 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 147 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 67 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.453 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.342 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.545 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.125 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 121, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Additionally,
...lem of headache in residents of Mentia. Additionally they also support the argument by stati...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 269, Rule ID: BE_USE_TO_DO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'used'?
Suggestion: used
... family as aspirin, a medicine which is use to treat headache. Recently food proces...
^^^
Line 1, column 269, Rule ID: USE_TO_VERB[1]
Message: Did you mean 'used'?
Suggestion: used
... family as aspirin, a medicine which is use to treat headache. Recently food proces...
^^^
Line 1, column 477, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...eady decline in the number of headache. However before coming to this conclusion few qu...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 237, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...s no need to add more in regular meals. If consuming more Salicylates leads to ser...
^^
Line 5, column 209, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'reduced'.
Suggestion: reduced
...government law and rules which may have reduce the work load and this may have result ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 767, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ms of headache does not hold the water. Finally, what if by adding artificial Sa...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 95, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...he food increases more health problems? As it is said in the prompt that many food...
^^
Line 7, column 300, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...icial Salicylates may create a problem. As natural food is hundred times better th...
^^
Line 7, column 300, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...icial Salicylates may create a problem. As natural food is hundred times better th...
^^
Line 7, column 319, Rule ID: NODT_DOZEN[1]
Message: Use simply: 'a hundred'.
Suggestion: a hundred
...ay create a problem. As natural food is hundred times better then artificial. Maybe by ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 333, Rule ID: COMPARISONS_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'better than'?
Suggestion: better than
...oblem. As natural food is hundred times better then artificial. Maybe by adding artificial ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 340, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[3]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...As natural food is hundred times better then artificial. Maybe by adding artificial ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, in conclusion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 77.0 55.5748502994 139% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2185.0 2260.96107784 97% => OK
No of words: 462.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 4.72943722944 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63618218583 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54344846149 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.409090909091 0.468620217663 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 709.2 705.55239521 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 1.0 8.76447105788 11% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.3905272415 57.8364921388 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.3181818182 119.503703932 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.27272727273 5.70786347227 75% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 5.25449101796 247% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.257781035007 0.218282227539 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0921710153198 0.0743258471296 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0854944813474 0.0701772020484 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.146345168555 0.128457276422 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.122611063725 0.0628817314937 195% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 14.3799401198 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.15 12.5979740519 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.9 8.32208582834 83% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 98.500998004 66% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.