The following letter is from a group of Linford College alumni to the chair of the art
department at the college.
“In a recent survey of college graduates, 90 percent agreed that participating in an
internship increased their chances of finding a job after graduation, but last year, only 40
percent of Linford’s graduating art students had completed an internship. Skyway Designs,
located in nearby Linford City, is the perfect company for students to intern with for a
number of reasons: They offer internships in all of their departments, so every student is
sure to find work that they are interested in. Additionally, their internships offer flexible
working hours. Finally, Skyway Designs is known for being one of the best in the design
business, as over 80 percent of businesses in Linford City have used the services of
Skyway Designs for their design needs. Given the vital role that work experience plays in
a student’s success after graduation, we recommend that our art department require all art students to complete an internship with Skyway Designs before graduation.”
The author recommends that Linford College require its art department to require their students to complete an internship with Skyway Designs before they graduate. Although the author provides sound evidence, their argument is flawed due to uncertaincies and lack of information from the author. The author fails to address if the survey represents the art department as a whole and the supply and demand of the intership.
Firstly, the author does not discuss the specifics of the survey. The author states how 90 percent of students who had an internship increased their chances of finding a job after graduation; however, does the participants in the survey represent the art deparment at Linford College? If the author had addressed this question, it would make their argument more reasonable. Also, the author should discuss the percentage of students who did an internship before graduation actually got a job afterwards. The survey did not mention if the partipants actually obtained a job, only stating that it increased their chances. Additionally, their increase of finding a job could be due to other reasons, such as having connections.
Furthermore, the author mentions that Skyway Designs are flexible and offer internships in all their deparments. Although this could be a positive outcome, the author should consider the supply and demand. For instance, if there are more students interested in one department at Skyway Designs, would they be able to accomodate those students? This issue should be addressed because not every student interested in a certain department will get what they desire and forcing them to intern in a different department.
On the other hand, the author does discuss that Skyway Designs does business with a number of companies in Linford City. Students who intern at this company would have a higher chance being hired there, that is if they are liked. However, this would also depend on the need of employees. If, for example, Skyway Designs have enough employees or does not have the budget to hire more employees, they would not hire the art students who interned there.
The author recommends that art students should intern at Skyway Designs before graduation. Although they provide reliable evidence, the author fails to address the population as a whole in the chosen survey and the supply and demand of interns at Skyway Designs. As it stands now, the argument is unsubstantial and flawed; however if the author addresses these uncertaincies it would make their argument stronger and mroe reasonable.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 411 350
No. of Characters: 2096 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.503 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.1 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.639 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 176 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 121 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.55 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.368 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.364 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.563 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.114 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 17, column 201, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to survey'
Suggestion: to survey
...the population as a whole in the chosen survey and the supply and demand of interns at...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, so, for example, for instance, such as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.6327345309 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 55.5748502994 72% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2165.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 411.0 441.139720559 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.26763990268 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50256981431 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74116073005 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 185.0 204.123752495 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.450121654501 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 643.5 705.55239521 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.245987056 57.8364921388 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.25 119.503703932 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.55 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.75 5.70786347227 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.140468967909 0.218282227539 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0522000470699 0.0743258471296 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0724892290569 0.0701772020484 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.085670604602 0.128457276422 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0813919619521 0.0628817314937 129% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.3799401198 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.29 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.32 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 98.500998004 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.