The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:
Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable – my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. While the intent of hiring Swift may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods, the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
The cafeteria in schools are very important as the students spend half of their time in school, they imitate and copy the habits they learn, thus making them eat healthy should not be an option but choice. The healthy food is not an option but a need of the hour. The amount of junk food and unhealthy drinks students drink today can lead to serious problems in the future.
The Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private sector, Swift Nutrition in order to indulge students in eating healthy. In the present, the condition of our youth is pretty sad as they involve themselves in irregular and unhealthy eating habits which leads to problems in their future with hefty medical bills and diseases which are quite serious. The Swift Nutrition provides the answer to these problems by providing healthy food to these students which will make them fit and healthy. The amount of high-fat and high-calories in the junk food causes obesity and lead to an unhealthy life routine which they follow their whole life. A student imitates the actions and copy the habits which they learn in their childhood, and so if we don't make them aware of eating healthy and staying fit, then it's a failure from everyone's side.
The students bringing their less healthy lunches and eating them instead of cafeteria food is failure on the both sides - parenting and the school management. Healthy food even has options which may not be that tasty and enjoyable but they are rich with nutrients and vitamins needed by a student at this young age. Students in our generation doesn't get involved it outdoor sports and activities much and thus leading to an unhealthy life with diseases and obesity. Providing them with no other option than Swift Nutrition, makes them try this healthy food which benefits them in the future. Replacing Swift with another vendor is not the solution, whereas making students understand the value of eating healthy should be the motto. Student indulging in unhealthy eating once in a while is manageable but taking that as a habit is bad and no school would think of doing that. Students spend half of their day in the school premises and if we don't make them aware of benefits of being healthy then school is at failure.
The step which the school can take is to hire another vendor with limited options of providing less healthy - high-fat and high-calorie meals which may compensate for some. Still eating unhealthy and changing the vendor is not the solution. The students should see the benefits of this change and the changes in the eating habits will lead to a healthy life.
The statement that it will be a serious health consequences for Academy if vendor is not replaced can be taken as a monitoring point and the school can provide with more options of food. However, changing the vendors is not the step they should take and make students aware of the benefits of eating healthy.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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| 2019-12-18 | Chayank_11 | 78 | view |
| 2019-12-06 | chapagain08 | 50 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not OK
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flaws:
this is not an issue essay.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 508 350
No. of Characters: 2385 1500
No. of Different Words: 205 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.748 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.695 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.336 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 174 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 123 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 71 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.095 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.354 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.53 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.106 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 265, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...s not an option but a need of the hour. The amount of junk food and unhealthy drink...
^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...d to serious problems in the future. The Kensington Academy turned over manageme...
^^^
Line 3, column 765, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
... learn in their childhood, and so if we dont make them aware of eating healthy and s...
^^^^
Line 3, column 826, Rule ID: IT_IS[6]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
...of eating healthy and staying fit, then its a failure from everyones side. The s...
^^^
Line 5, column 344, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...s young age. Students in our generation doesnt get involved it outdoor sports and acti...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 943, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...ir day in the school premises and if we dont make them aware of benefits of being he...
^^^^
Line 7, column 136, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...less healthy - high-fat and high-calorie meals which may compensate for some. Sti...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, may, so, still, then, thus, whereas, while
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 28.0 11.1786427146 250% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 58.0 55.5748502994 104% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2430.0 2260.96107784 107% => OK
No of words: 505.0 441.139720559 114% => OK
Chars per words: 4.81188118812 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.74048574033 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.3709793281 2.78398813304 85% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 204.123752495 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.417821782178 0.468620217663 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 722.7 705.55239521 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.4127455143 57.8364921388 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.5 119.503703932 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.25 23.324526521 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.0 5.70786347227 53% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.184284411399 0.218282227539 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.068724198574 0.0743258471296 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0639604187002 0.0701772020484 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.112228378368 0.128457276422 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0251428486286 0.0628817314937 40% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 63.02 48.3550499002 130% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.91 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.66 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.