The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:
Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable – my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. While the intent of hiring Swift may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods, the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students.
Kensington Academy decided to have a a private vendor for their cafeteria services in their premise, that eventually prompted one of the parent of the school to think that, having choosen Swift Nutrition, that provides healthier food with low-fats, low calories etc will motivate the children to bring the food by their own which may not be healthy and would serve adversely to the intended plan. However, these reasons may have to be accessed for the following two factors.
First of all, if the children are convinced by the adverse effect of all the high calories and junk food they should be able to opt for the one which is healthier. For instance, St Paul school in the Los-Angeles county recently found to have the Healthy food canteen that served stuffs fool of vegetables, low-calories etc. Before the inauguration of the canteen, St Paul school committee had a counselling with all the parents with their children to convince the importance of healthy food and how they can opt for it over the junk foods. With this they were able to successfully implement the idea. If such of counselling are activities are carried out routinely with parents and children then the idea of Kensington Academy to have a, swift Nutrition will serve the purpose.
Secondly, low-calorie and low-fat food doesn't necessarily be tasteless or not delicious. It's upon the cook that it all depends to make it work and taste delicious and is more of cook skills. For instance, a recently Healthy Diet hotel opened in the suburbs of california, serves low fat food and most of the nearby people ques up to place their order and McDonald's just beside is empty and has no customers. If this is true, Swift Nutrition will be able to maintain the good taste and children would not opt of junk food from outside.
The conclusion that Swift replacement has to access the above reasons and requires more awareness programs from Kensington for the parents and children to implement and maintain Swift Canteen and serve healthier food for children. The Swift Canteeen should also come up with more tastier recepies to keep the canteen going. These factors will certainly help children opt for healthier food.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
It is out of topic.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.0 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 371 350
No. of Characters: 1784 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.389 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.809 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.508 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 119 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.538 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.887 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.692 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.358 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.566 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.061 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 36, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: a
Kensington Academy decided to have a a private vendor for their cafeteria serv...
^^^
Line 1, column 36, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
Kensington Academy decided to have a a private vendor for their cafeteria se...
^
Line 1, column 36, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'a' or 'a' is left.
Suggestion: a; a
Kensington Academy decided to have a a private vendor for their cafeteria serv...
^^^
Line 3, column 736, Rule ID: THE_PUNCT[1]
Message: Did you forget something after 'a'?
... the idea of Kensington Academy to have a, swift Nutrition will serve the purpose....
^^
Line 5, column 40, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... Secondly, low-calorie and low-fat food doesnt necessarily be tasteless or not delicio...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 90, Rule ID: IT_IS[6]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: It's; It is
...essarily be tasteless or not delicious. Its upon the cook that it all depends to ma...
^^^
Line 8, column 276, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'tastier' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: tastier
...Swift Canteeen should also come up with more tastier recepies to keep the canteen going. The...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, as to, for instance, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 55.5748502994 92% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1823.0 2260.96107784 81% => OK
No of words: 370.0 441.139720559 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.92702702703 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38581623665 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56507560436 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 182.0 204.123752495 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.491891891892 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 539.1 705.55239521 76% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 87.33810095 57.8364921388 151% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.214285714 119.503703932 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.4285714286 23.324526521 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.57142857143 5.70786347227 115% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.216263611074 0.218282227539 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0758309715392 0.0743258471296 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.06367882657 0.0701772020484 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.140751128732 0.128457276422 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.049045384464 0.0628817314937 78% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 48.3550499002 111% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.61 12.5979740519 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.3 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 98.500998004 80% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.