The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. This shows that eating a substantial amount of fish can clearly prevent colds. Furthermore, since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, attendance levels will improve. Therefore, we recommend the daily use of a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation
The memo from the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council recommends the daily consumption of a supplement derived from fish oil as a prevention against colds to lower absenteeism in schools and workplaces. However, the given argument is strife with many holes and makes many unwarranted assumptions which are not convincing to the reader.
The council recommends the use of fish oil based on study reports from nearby East Meria. The validation of these reports is required and the details must be presented. Crucial information such as the number of people the study was carried out on, the lifestyles of the people, the geography of East Meria have to be analysed before determining if the solution is feasible in West Meria or not. A mere generalization of the two areas is highly inappropriate
Secondly, the type and the "amount" of fish consumed in East Meria is also not available in the argument, thereby raising doubts in the minds of the readers. There is not scientific evidence that the fish consumed in East Meria is safe for consumption by the people of the west and that there are no side effects to the consumption of such fish. This data is unavailable and it majorly weakens the argument.
Furthermore, the argument talks about the use of supplements in West Meria as opposed to the use of fish in the East. Supplement are no equivalent substitutes to whole foods and it is unclear how it can replace them. Additionally, the argument provides no information regarding those people who are actually averse to animal products and fails to provide any alternative for them.
Hence, a lack of credible information weakens the overall argument and fails to establish that the use of natural supplements derived from fish oil are a good prevention against colds.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 301 350
No. of Characters: 1460 1500
No. of Different Words: 150 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.165 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.85 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.804 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 97 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 81 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.154 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.526 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.462 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.356 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.616 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.085 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 458, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...of the two areas is highly inappropriate Secondly, the type and the 'amount&...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, furthermore, hence, however, if, regarding, second, secondly, so, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 12.9520958084 15% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 11.0 28.8173652695 38% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 55.5748502994 85% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1528.0 2260.96107784 68% => OK
No of words: 301.0 441.139720559 68% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.07641196013 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.16525528304 4.56307096286 91% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94830236541 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 153.0 204.123752495 75% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.508305647841 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 479.7 705.55239521 68% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 19.7664670659 61% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.5469303683 57.8364921388 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.333333333 119.503703932 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.0833333333 23.324526521 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.41666666667 5.70786347227 130% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.137245246685 0.218282227539 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0525083121827 0.0743258471296 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0715895666005 0.0701772020484 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0755554706887 0.128457276422 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0679616082762 0.0628817314937 108% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.48 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.97 8.32208582834 108% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 98.500998004 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.