The following report appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds represent the most frequently given reason for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid—a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil—as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
With the aim of forestalling colds and reducing related absences, the author advises people to maintain a daily dosage of Ichthaid intake. Nevertheless, while it may be true that decreasing the contraction of colds could lower absenteeism, the connection between the daily use of Ichthaid and a better health condition is not cogently justified in the given paragraph.
To begin with, the author believes people around East Meria are healthier based on the fact that they have a low frequency of doctor visit. However, this claim cannot be concluded before several possibilities are ruled out. Chances are that people in East Meria have such low income that visiting the doctor once a year is already luxurious and they only go to the doctor when it is urgent and necessary. Another probable rationale would be that, since East Meria is a rural area where the number of doctors is insufficient, citizens need to make appointments long before and wait in line for several months until the meeting.
Moreover, given that these two phenomena come along with each other, the author fallaciously regards the correlation between a substantial consumption of fish and fewer circumstances of cold as a causal connection. Many other causes could have precipitated the low rate of cold. If the climate in East Meria is affable and local residents enjoy a stable temperature throughout the year, without the need for air-conditioning in summer or the heating system in the winter to aggravate infections, it is likely that prevalence of cold could be largely avoided. In addition, citizens in East Meria might lead a healthier lifestyle, compared with West Meria. Their persistence on a balanced diet and regular exercises could be the main factor contributing to their wellness, rather than the habit of fish consumption.
Last but not least, even it is true that a higher consumption in fish could lead to an improvement on health condition, the feasibility and efficacy of this suggestion to maintain a daily intake of Ichthaid is ungrounded. On one hand, without evidence that residents in West Meria have the financial capacity to consume an expensive extraction nutrient like Ichithaid, this recommendation does not hold a feasible ground. On the other hand, whether the effective compound inside fish is indeed Ichthaid is still debatable since a complex constitution of ingredients could be detected in a single fish dish.
Taking into account all these factors, it is evident that the author has not provided tenable and persuasive arguments to support the linkage between the daily consumption of fish and a reduction of susceptibility to cold, hence invalidating the recommendation that the nutritional supplement Ichthaid should be taken daily to reduce absenteeism.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 445 350
No. of Characters: 2283 1500
No. of Different Words: 237 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.593 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.13 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.919 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 165 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 124 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 93 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 65 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.347 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.323 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.588 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.049 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, hence, however, if, may, moreover, nevertheless, still, well, while, in addition, in fact, it is true, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 64.0 55.5748502994 115% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2335.0 2260.96107784 103% => OK
No of words: 445.0 441.139720559 101% => OK
Chars per words: 5.24719101124 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.59293186426 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98766897232 2.78398813304 107% => OK
Unique words: 244.0 204.123752495 120% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.548314606742 0.468620217663 117% => OK
syllable_count: 729.9 705.55239521 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 72.4545528053 57.8364921388 125% => OK
Chars per sentence: 155.666666667 119.503703932 130% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.6666666667 23.324526521 127% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.33333333333 5.70786347227 164% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0611746247931 0.218282227539 28% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0228520973307 0.0743258471296 31% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0225923598815 0.0701772020484 32% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0336496656174 0.128457276422 26% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0133314726019 0.0628817314937 21% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.1 14.3799401198 126% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.04 48.3550499002 87% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.197005988 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.76 12.5979740519 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.58 8.32208582834 115% => OK
difficult_words: 127.0 98.500998004 129% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.