The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The argument, an excerpt from a memo from the Director of Student Housing at Buckingham College, states that new dormitories have to be built by the college to accommodate and serve the housing needs of the increasing number of students. However, this argument in its current form is not convincing and lacks crucial information. The support given is weak and the argument makes too many unwarranted assumptions.
Firstly, the argument fails to establish how the college is going to "serve the needs" of the students by building more dormitories. There is no discerning evidence to prove that new dormitories would actually suffice the student requirements. Neither the requirements of the students nor are the services/amenities that will be provided by the dormitories are mentioned in the memo. Another major concern is that the specific needs of the students also vary from one to another and might not be catered to by just building dormitories. For example, some may prefer living alone while some may prefer living in groups. Such major factors have to be considered before making any decision on expanding the present setup.
Secondly, the argument makes a preposterous claim that the student count is going to double over the next 50 years without any supporting evidence . The increase in intake of a particular college depends upon many factors. It is possible that the curriculum and the services offered by the college appeals to the students at present, but in the coming decades it may lose its appeal and the students might choose other colleges. Maybe, at present, students do not have a choice to select from apart from Buckingham College but over the course of the next 50 years many new colleges can also spring up. There is also another eventuality where the college itself may cease to exist due to unexpected reasons. Or, it is also possible that the intake might be more than double of what is now and a mere expansion of its accommodation facilities may not be enough. Buckingham College might set up many more campuses and expand into other locations thereby making it easily accessible for students coming from afar and also reducing the burden on its main campus.
Thirdly , the recent trends regarding the surge in rates of off-campus housing are also questionable and need to be validated. Questions of many sorts arise to which there is no proof provided in the argument whatsoever. Questions such as - in what part of the town did the rent increase , what are the demographics of the town, did the rates increase in the areas where majority of the students are currently living, do students actually prefer living in such areas of the town where the rents are high- are bound to originate and require serious consideration.
Furthermore , claiming that building "attractive, new dormitories" would actually draw more student enrolments is outright absurd. Sure, accommodation facilities might be a factor while choosing colleges but it is certainly not the predominant factor which influences the student's choice. A student chooses a college or an university based on its curriculum, its coursework and the various opportunities it provides them to showcase their skills and talents.
Hence, to encapsulate, it is evident that the argument is rife with holes and assumptions without any relevant proof and therefore it clear that building new dormitories is not the answer to serve the future requirements of the students.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 567 350
No. of Characters: 2830 1500
No. of Different Words: 252 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.88 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.991 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.725 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 206 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 166 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 115 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 63 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.652 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.04 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.696 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.3 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.522 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.061 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 69, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...to establish how the college is going to 'serve the needs' of the stude...
^^
Line 5, column 147, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...50 years without any supporting evidence . The increase in intake of a particular ...
^^
Line 7, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...he burden on its main campus. Thirdly , the recent trends regarding the surge i...
^^
Line 7, column 288, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...t part of the town did the rent increase , what are the demographics of the town, ...
^^
Line 9, column 12, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...re serious consideration. Furthermore , claiming that building 'attractive...
^^
Line 9, column 331, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
... choice. A student chooses a college or an university based on its curriculum, its...
^^
Line 11, column 135, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'clears'?
Suggestion: clears
...out any relevant proof and therefore it clear that building new dormitories is not th...
^^^^^
Line 11, column 239, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he future requirements of the students.
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, firstly, furthermore, hence, however, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, therefore, third, thirdly, while, apart from, for example, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.6327345309 158% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 75.0 55.5748502994 135% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2925.0 2260.96107784 129% => OK
No of words: 566.0 441.139720559 128% => OK
Chars per words: 5.16784452297 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.87757670434 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94092729252 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 262.0 204.123752495 128% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.462897526502 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 921.6 705.55239521 131% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.4908356859 57.8364921388 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.173913043 119.503703932 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.6086956522 23.324526521 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.5652173913 5.70786347227 133% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.246417777484 0.218282227539 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0687391062352 0.0743258471296 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0936560307757 0.0701772020484 133% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.131681242898 0.128457276422 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0807121301565 0.0628817314937 128% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.2 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.0 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.59 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 135.0 98.500998004 137% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.