In this argument, the author proposes that introducing Elkie-Advanced Doll, which uses higher quality materials and consequently more durable, will help Primo Doll Manufacturing exceed Optima in profit this year. However, some questions should be addressed before the author proves the validity of the argument.
To begin with, the author mentions 80% of parents said they are more like to recommend a durable doll to their friends. However, some questions should be addressed to substantiate this argument. Is the survey reliable? If the research samples are concentrate within a small group of parents, say working in the same company and receiving a similar salary, they may consider more on the economy. But with the increase in income, more and more families may put appearance and safety in the first place, because health is critical to their children. Green material used in the manufacturing of dolls could be a significant criterion. On top of that, are their friends would like to buy recommended durable dolls? Although they recommend the doll to their friends, their friends who have not used the doll but can see the appearance immediately may emphasize more on appearance instead of the durability to decide to buy to or not. Therefore, answering the aforementioned questions might more defensibly reinforce the conclusion and the whole argument.
Furthermore, even if parents become more likely to buy these dolls, due to their durability, is the overall profit going to increase? As the doll will not quickly wear out with use, parents will buy less doll, cause the doll can be used longer than before. As a result, the sales of dolls could remain stable in total, or even decline. In addition, the cost of producing each doll will increase, since it is manufactured using higher quality materials. With the same price, they become less profitable. So it is possible that the profit of the manufactory will not increase. Hence, answering the question might substantiate the conclusion and the argument.
In conclusion, although the conclusion that introducing Elkie-Advanced Doll benefits to Primo to outstrip Optima is comprehensible, some questions should be addressed before the author validates the argument. Had the author delivered more answers to the questions, the conclusion and the argument might be more defensible.
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 374 350
No. of Characters: 1919 1500
No. of Different Words: 173 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.398 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.131 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.811 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 141 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.7 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.403 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.316 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.462 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.064 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, may, so, therefore, in addition, in conclusion, as a result, to begin with, in the first place, on top of that
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 55.5748502994 86% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1979.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 374.0 441.139720559 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.29144385027 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3976220399 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91310988702 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.489304812834 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 614.7 705.55239521 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 52.6302907079 57.8364921388 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.95 119.503703932 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.7 23.324526521 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.45 5.70786347227 148% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.149573377608 0.218282227539 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0488278326718 0.0743258471296 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0419346496459 0.0701772020484 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0955272733571 0.128457276422 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0240905449088 0.0628817314937 38% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 14.3799401198 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.4 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.33 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 98.500998004 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.