The following is part of a memorandum from the president of Humana University.
"Last year the number of students who enrolled in online degree programs offered
by nearby Omni University increased by 50 percent. During the same year, Omni
showed a significant decrease from prior years in expenditures for dormitory and
classroom space, most likely because instruction in the online programs takes place
via the Internet. In contrast, over the past three years, enrollment at Humana
University has failed to grow, and the cost of maintaining buildings has increased
along with our budget deficit. To address these problems, Humana University will
begin immediately to create and actively promote online degree programs like
those at Omni. We predict that instituting these online degree programs will help
Humana both increase its total enrollment and solve its budget problems.”
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in
order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are
reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to
evaluate the prediction.
In the above memorandum, the author argues that Humana University should institute online degree programs in order to enhance their student’s enrolment and mitigate the expenditure deficit. The author supports his argument based on the report that by instituting online degree programs the nearby Omni University decreases their dormitory expenditure and the total number of enrolment has proliferated significantly. Furthermore, the author bolsters his argument by providing the report which states that during the past 3 years Humana University faced a money deficit and the total number of enrolments has reduced significantly. However, before evaluating the author’s argument three questions need to be answered.
Firstly, the author argues that by instituting the online degree program the number of students has increased by 50 percent without providing the past condition about the number of students. Can one determine the effectiveness of any strategy only from a percentage? A percentage is a tricky situation. Without the absolute number given one can not conclude anything just from a percentage. Maybe before implementing the online program the number of students at Onmi University was 1000 but after facilitating online courses the number of students is now 1500 which is significantly low. Then one can not argue that the number of students has increased significantly. If the author is able to provide more evidence regarding the number of students prior to online courses then it will strengthen the author’s argument otherwise the author’s argument holds no water.
Secondly, the author argues that since implementing the online program Omni University has been profitable, Humana University will be lucrative too without any proper evidence. One may raise questions about the authenticity of the comparison. In other words, is the strategy of using circumstances from one thing to predict and generalize the other legitimate? There is a possibility that maybe the two universities are not similar at all. Maybe most of the students of Omni University live in a city where internet access is relatively easy compared to the students of Humana University where most of the students are from rural places. The author does not provide any justifiable evidence regarding his assumptions. If the author is able to provide more evince regarding the student’s condition at the two universities then it will be possible to evaluate the author’s argument to a certain extent.
Thirdly, the author argues that to enhance the number of enrolments, Humana University should expedite the online program without any admissible evidence. One may ask questions about the efficacy of implementing online courses in dilating the number of students. There is a feasibility that maybe the teaching at the university is not that good. Maybe the course structure at the university is very obsolete. Then after kindling the online program students may not want to enroll in the university. If any one of the above scenarios is true then the author’s argument is built unreliably. The author has to provide more justifiable evidence perhaps in the form of a survey about the reason behind the dwindling student number in order to rectify his argument.
In the conclusion, the author’s argument stands now is seriously flawed due to its reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. If the author can answer the three questions above and offers more evidence perhaps in the form of a systematic research study then it will be possible to evaluate the viability of the proposed recommendation that creating and promoting online programs the Humana University will be lucrative in the near future.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 580 350
No. of Characters: 3068 1500
No. of Different Words: 224 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.907 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.29 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.866 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 254 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 182 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 149 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 88 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.481 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.29 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.593 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.342 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.501 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.133 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 719, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ble evidence regarding his assumptions. If the author is able to provide more evin...
^^
Line 7, column 500, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...y not want to enroll in the university. If any one of the above scenarios is true ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, as to, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 87.0 55.5748502994 157% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 16.3942115768 146% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3137.0 2260.96107784 139% => OK
No of words: 580.0 441.139720559 131% => OK
Chars per words: 5.40862068966 5.12650576532 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.90746259869 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98062461034 2.78398813304 107% => OK
Unique words: 224.0 204.123752495 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.386206896552 0.468620217663 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1030.5 705.55239521 146% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59920159681 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 19.7664670659 137% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 65.426195867 57.8364921388 113% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.185185185 119.503703932 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.4814814815 23.324526521 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.74074074074 5.70786347227 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 6.88822355289 189% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.302287200662 0.218282227539 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0889069326099 0.0743258471296 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0766749049032 0.0701772020484 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.183671752987 0.128457276422 143% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0633281191128 0.0628817314937 101% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.8 14.3799401198 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 33.24 48.3550499002 69% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.1 12.5979740519 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.05 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 124.0 98.500998004 126% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 12.3882235529 125% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.