The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In the argument, the Board of Director of Monarch Books recommended that Monarch Book should open a cafe in its store in order tor draw attention to more customer and to compete with Regal books store. The director comes to this conclusion based on several premises, which, if true, would make the argument persuasive. However, as it stands now, the director needs to provide three pieces of additional evidence to bolster the assertions credibility.
First of all, the Director assumes that the customer coming to the Monarch book house will also be attracted to the cafe. But perhaps this might not be the case. It is possible that people coming in the cafe will not like the cafe in Book store. It is also very much possible that people will not even come to the cafe due to the added cafe which may even hamper the atmosphere of the Book store. If either of the scenario has credibility, then the author contention is significantly flawed.
Moreover, the director presumes that Census indicating decline in the number of people under 10 is done in a scientific manner. But this might be the case. It is very much possible that people who have conducted the census take the sample of the population from a specific area and reported that it as a representative of all the area. It is also very much possible that researcher doing the census has personal problem with the Books cafe which include children books and thus manipulated data of the census. If either of the secenario is true then the author assertion doesn't hold water.
Finally, the author assumes that that Regal cafe and Monarch cafe are roughly the same. Perhaps this may not be the true. It is very much possible that regal cafe includes only the elderly person book, on the other hand Monarch cafe include all types of book. In addition, it is also possible that location of Regal cafe may in a suitable position where people can go and purchase book easily. On the other hand Monarch cafe location is in place where people can not go easily due to the damaged road. If either of the situation is true, the author contention is significantly hampered.
The director may be true in recommending that adding a cafe will attract more customer and this will help them to compete with Regal Books. However, as it stands now, the director conclusion rests upon three unwarranted assumption which hinders its credibility. If the author is able to provide answer to this question it will increase the persuasiveness of his contention.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 435 350
No. of Characters: 2023 1500
No. of Different Words: 179 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.567 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.651 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.481 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 130 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.773 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.816 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.864 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.324 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.516 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.092 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 428, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'assertions'' or 'assertion's'?
Suggestion: assertions'; assertion's
...s of additional evidence to bolster the assertions credibility. First of all, the Direc...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 105, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a scientific manner" with adverb for "scientific"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...n the number of people under 10 is done in a scientific manner. But this might be the case. It is very...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 511, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...nd thus manipulated data of the census. If either of the secenario is true then th...
^^
Line 5, column 572, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...nario is true then the author assertion doesnt hold water. Finally, the author ass...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 221, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'assumption' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'assumptions'.
Suggestion: assumptions
...conclusion rests upon three unwarranted assumption which hinders its credibility. If the a...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 263, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...sumption which hinders its credibility. If the author is able to provide answer to...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, may, moreover, so, then, thus, in addition, first of all, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2076.0 2260.96107784 92% => OK
No of words: 434.0 441.139720559 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.78341013825 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56428161445 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53824198735 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 182.0 204.123752495 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.41935483871 0.468620217663 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 661.5 705.55239521 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 44.0119255064 57.8364921388 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.3636363636 119.503703932 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.7272727273 23.324526521 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.22727272727 5.70786347227 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.22679150033 0.218282227539 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0669627932248 0.0743258471296 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0940018896917 0.0701772020484 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.145629894181 0.128457276422 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0952196396166 0.0628817314937 151% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 14.3799401198 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.44 12.5979740519 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.6 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 98.500998004 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.