The Board of Directors of Monarch Books have suggested to open a cafe in the store. So that the store can compete better with the Regal Books which had recently opened a cafe. At first glance the idea given seems to be convincing but when given deep thought there are many loopholes in the recommendation which is not taken into consideration by the Directors.
Firstly, the cafe in the store may not be able to increase the profit of the Monarch Books as the author has not provided any figure that indicates that there is increase in the sale of books in the Regal Bookstore. In case Regal Books has profited from the idea, there is no surety that same will happen in the Monarch Books. Moreover, the location of the book store should be taken into consideration. The Regal Books may be located near by a college campus. This reason justifies crowd in the store as the students are of experimental nature. This may not be the case with the Monarch Books. So, the profit of the Regal Books should be taken into consideration in order to have clear picture regarding the sale increase and thus, making sure that copying the idea will work for the Monarch Books too.
Secondly, Directors posits that children's section should be removed from the store. As it will provide space for the cafe. This is mentioned on the basis of a survey held recently which indicates that there is population decrease of the children who are under age ten. But, the year of survey is not mentioned in the letter. Additionally, no information is provided regarding the area surveyed. It may be possible that the number of children in the area of survey are less. Thus, without clear information, the survey can be considered as null and thereby, cannot be taken seriously to form basis for changes in the bookstore. The removal of children's section may decrease the popularity of the store and also there are chances of dip in number of customers.
Lastly, the Monarch Books are popular for the quality of the books available in the shop and due to this reason there are large number of customers of the store from past twenty years. The author of the letter should pay attention in increasing the number of qualitative books to attract more customers for which store is famous. This will surely increase the sale of the books and ultimately the profit will increase.
To conclude, there are many reasons which proves that there many serious issues with the recommendation. The cafe in the store may only contribute to crowd in the store and this may result in decrease of genuine buyers. Also, the store might not be able to recover expenses incurred in the construction of the cafe. Resulting in the loss of the shop instead of making any profits.
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not exactly, need to argue:
Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 480 350
No. of Characters: 2207 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.681 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.598 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.438 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 137 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.872 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.64 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.329 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.506 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 85, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[3]
Message: “So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... suggested to open a cafe in the store. So that the store can compete better with the R...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 436, Rule ID: NEAR_BY[1]
Message: Did you mean 'nearby'?
Suggestion: nearby
...eration. The Regal Books may be located near by a college campus. This reason justifies...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 141, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...de space for the cafe. This is mentioned on the basis of a survey held recently w...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, lastly, may, moreover, regarding, second, secondly, so, thus
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 17.0 28.8173652695 59% => OK
Preposition: 76.0 55.5748502994 137% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2260.0 2260.96107784 100% => OK
No of words: 480.0 441.139720559 109% => OK
Chars per words: 4.70833333333 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68069463864 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50553553823 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 192.0 204.123752495 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.4 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 716.4 705.55239521 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 49.12840319 57.8364921388 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.4 119.503703932 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.2 23.324526521 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.64 5.70786347227 64% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.67664670659 235% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.244068393603 0.218282227539 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0747668043062 0.0743258471296 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.086067858982 0.0701772020484 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.143147135187 0.128457276422 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0853457980908 0.0628817314937 136% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.4 14.3799401198 72% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.04 12.5979740519 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.38 8.32208582834 89% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.