The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books. "We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
The author concludes that Monarch Books should open a café in its store because it would attract more customers and would allow Monarch to better compete with Regal Books which recently opened a café. The author’s line of reasoning is that the space for the café can be made available by discontinuing children’s section which will probably become less popular given that most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of population under age ten. Thus, a café can be built which will allow Monarch Books to compete better with Regal Books. The argument is unconvincing for various reasons.
First of all, the author concludes that Monarch should open the café because it will allow Monarch to compete better with Regal Books based on the questionable assumption that Regal Books does not have a children’s book section. It is entirely possible that Regal Books has a children’s book section apart from the café which would make it a preferable option, thus, stealing away customers of Monarch Books. This will weaken the competing power of Monarch Books. Thus, author’s assumption is unwarranted.
Secondly, the author assumes that a decline in percentage of population implies that the population of children has gone down. It is entirely possible that population of children has also increased but not as rapidly as other age groups. Thus, closing down children’s book section might be detrimental to Monarch Books.
Finally, author uses a Future Past flaw. It is a flaw where something that is true in past is assumed to be true in the future. The author assumes that just because the recent census indicates a significant decline in percentage of population under ten, it will keep declining in the future.
In conclusion, the author’s argument is not a strong one. The author must provide support for the assumption that the percentage of population under ten will keep declining in future, too. Moreover, the assumptions that Regal does not have a children’s book section and that a reduction in percentage of population under 10 implies a reduction in population under 10 have to be justified with proper evidence. Only with more convincing evidence can this argument become more than just a Future Past flaw.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 370 350
No. of Characters: 1845 1500
No. of Different Words: 146 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.386 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.986 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.634 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 104 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.556 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.447 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.36 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.58 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.109 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 326, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... might be detrimental to Monarch Books. Finally, author uses a Future Past flaw....
^^^^^
Line 9, column 179, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...opulation under ten will keep declining in future, too. Moreover, the assumptions that Re...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, thus, apart from, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 11.1786427146 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 16.3942115768 140% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1937.0 2260.96107784 86% => OK
No of words: 370.0 441.139720559 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.23513513514 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38581623665 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91565007154 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 149.0 204.123752495 73% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.402702702703 0.468620217663 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 595.8 705.55239521 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 71.8500023626 57.8364921388 124% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.611111111 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.5555555556 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0 5.70786347227 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.217669963775 0.218282227539 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0785283566286 0.0743258471296 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0878655458547 0.0701772020484 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.128142042925 0.128457276422 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0933084074355 0.0628817314937 148% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.3799401198 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.11 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.32 8.32208582834 88% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 98.500998004 64% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.