Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.
The author concludes that Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child because it has the most intensive program, the teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world and many of the students have gone on to become professional dancers at top dance companies. The author's line of reasoning is that intensive program would create better dancers and the teachers might be good because they have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. the author's argument is unconvincing for various reasons.
First of all, the author concludes that Pirouettes school is the clear choice for any child based on the questionable assumption that a more intensive program would ensure a better dancer. It is entirely possible that because of the intensive program the child might get tired, lose hope and give up on dancing. This would make Pirouettes a bad choice for any child.
Secondly, the author assumes that teachers who have danced at prestigious ballet companies are better teachers. It is possible that they might be good at dancing but bad at teaching. It is also possible that they might be the worst dancers in those prestigious ballet companies. Thus, if the other better ballet dancers in those companies are teaching in other schools, Pirouettes might not be the clear choice.
Thirdly, author assumes that Pirouettes being a clear choice is determined only by the factors mentioned in the argument. It is possible that cost might be a dominating factor and Pirouettes might not be affordable to all. This would make it an unsuitable choice for few children.
Finally, even if the above assumptions are true, the author ignores the possibility that students might have gone into top dance companies by their own merit and not because of any help or knowledge from the school. Also, it is possible that many students might have gone to top companies but future students might not become professional dancers in top dance companies. Thus, Pirouettes school might not be the clear choice for any child.
In conclusion, the author's argument is not very strong. The author must provide support for the assumption that intensive program creates better dancers. Moreover, supporting evidence has to be provided for the assumptions that teachers who have danced in prestigious companies are good teachers, the dancers better than these teachers do not teach in any school and that students having gone to top dance companies implies that all students of this school will become professional dancers in top companies. Only with more convincing evidence can this argument be strengthened.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 70 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 433 350
No. of Characters: 2179 1500
No. of Different Words: 150 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.562 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.032 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.581 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 163 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 118 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.789 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.74 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.579 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.387 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.62 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.13 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 508, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...us ballet companies all over the world. the authors argument is unconvincing for va...
^^^
Line 1, column 512, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...allet companies all over the world. the authors argument is unconvincing for various re...
^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 20, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...ce for any child. In conclusion, the authors argument is not very strong. The author...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, thus, as to, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 55.5748502994 68% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2230.0 2260.96107784 99% => OK
No of words: 433.0 441.139720559 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.15011547344 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56165014514 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64021279744 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 157.0 204.123752495 77% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.362586605081 0.468620217663 77% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 667.8 705.55239521 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 81.6518677067 57.8364921388 141% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.5 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.65 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.25 5.70786347227 109% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.465684586974 0.218282227539 213% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.160903471658 0.0743258471296 216% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.157050158811 0.0701772020484 224% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.280111900878 0.128457276422 218% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.153700204211 0.0628817314937 244% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.3799401198 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.59 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.08 8.32208582834 85% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 98.500998004 67% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.