The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
At first glance, the recommendation letter looks reasonable and convincing to support the idea that opening a café in Monarch Books is a good choice. However, there are still many logical problems existing and valid data needed.
To begin with, how do they know opening the café will attract more consumers? Did they design table or questionnaire and make an accurate analysis to get the above mentioned conclusion? In addition, the children’s book section will be removed so as to operate café. Nevertheless, what percentage of consumers buying children’s book for their kids accounts for the total consumers? Even though they don’t account a big portion, it’s likely that they would also bought books belong to other categories for themselves during their shopping? In this way, the bookstore not only loses the opportunity of making sales by children’s book but also magazines, novels and so on.
The recommendation also mentioned that the percentage of children under 10 years old declines recently from national census. Still, can that percentage of the whole nation represent that of this area? It’s likely that there are still many children in this area or city, so it’s not necessarily true to remove the children’s section only by using insufficient evidence.
On the other hand, the idea is partly motivated by its competitor, Regal Books, which recently opened its own café. Is there any evidence or statistics to support that starting up café can raise their sales revenue or attracting more consumers? If the assumption is true, it’s somehow no need for the company to change its policy. They can choose other programs or discount to get consumers back to the store again. What’s more, is it possible that many people staying at café chat will destroy the serenity of the whole bookstore? In this way, maybe some consumers frequently putting Monarch Books as their top of list won’t be reluctant to walk into it anymore.
Whether Monarch books should open its own café is still need carefully analyzing and relies on more valid and creditable information.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 343 350
No. of Characters: 1691 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.304 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.93 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.594 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 112 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.056 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.66 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.722 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.3 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.527 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.034 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
At first glance, the recommendation lett...
^^
Line 1, column 78, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'supporting'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'convince' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: supporting
... letter looks reasonable and convincing to support the idea that opening a café in Monarch...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...lems existing and valid data needed. To begin with, how do they know opening ...
^^
Line 3, column 251, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...ren's book section will be removed so as to operate café. Nevertheless, what percen...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 483, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'buy'
Suggestion: buy
..., it's likely that they would also bought books belong to other categories for th...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ut also magazines, novels and so on. The recommendation also mentioned that t...
^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...only by using insufficient evidence. On the other hand, the idea is partly mo...
^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... reluctant to walk into it anymore. Whether Monarch books should open its ow...
^^
Line 9, column 59, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'needed'.
Suggestion: needed
...books should open its own café is still need carefully analyzing and relies on more ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, look, may, nevertheless, so, still, as to, in addition, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 19.6327345309 51% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 55.5748502994 68% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1804.0 2260.96107784 80% => OK
No of words: 341.0 441.139720559 77% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.29032258065 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.29722995808 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88476610089 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.574780058651 0.468620217663 123% => OK
syllable_count: 552.6 705.55239521 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 30.4142693119 57.8364921388 53% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 100.222222222 119.503703932 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.9444444444 23.324526521 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.61111111111 5.70786347227 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.240438586727 0.218282227539 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0748449071643 0.0743258471296 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0585256106607 0.0701772020484 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.146768829111 0.128457276422 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0487733782062 0.0628817314937 78% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 14.3799401198 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.4 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.47 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.