The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In the argument mentioned, the author recommended that monarch store is likely to attract more customers by opening a cafe in the store. In his build og the argument, the author used evidences that would at the first glance look reasonable and persuading, however, a more in-depth look at the evidences, it seems that some questions must be raised to better evaluate the veracity of the evidences and the effictiveness of his recomendation.
first, the author mentioned that the book store has a large customer base because of its wide range variety of books it has. also, he suggested that the proposed cafe would be given space using the children's books section. In this context, the board of directors did not consider that this truncating of the children's section will have a negative effect on this variety of books mentioned. also, the author tried to justify that by mentioning the recent national census that indicated a decline in the percentage of the population under ten years. however, a decline in the percentage of the population of those people do not by necessity mean that there is a decrease in their numbers, and in such a study, the number is more important than the percentage compared to the whole country.
Moreover, while the board of directors seem to only be concerned with that the customers of the cafe being in the store itself will probably work as an incentive to them to wander between the books and purchase some, they didn't consider the way in which the original customers of the store will look, and whether or not this opening of the cafe will make the place more crowded and noisy, which are characteristics of a place that is likely to be disliked by readers, as the majority of the readers are always known for the quiet environments they usually live in.
Finally, the author pointed to regal books, which is another store that opened its own cafe recently. Saying that opening a cafe would help monarch store to be more capable of competing with regal books, the author did not mention the effects opening a cafe had on regan books. such a detail would be very meaningful to better assess the suggestion, that is, this comparison would provide us details on how such a recommendation is dealt with in a similar place.
In a conclusion, the author bolstered his recommendation using evidences that are questionable in terms of their veracity and reliability, and more questions should be answered to make the argument more plausible. For example, a more in-depth study of the children's section sells and comparison with regan books store would certainly make the recommendations more substantiated.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 449 350
No. of Characters: 2153 1500
No. of Different Words: 194 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.603 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.795 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.697 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 139 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 113 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 76 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 40.818 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 27.485 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.545 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.398 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.672 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.144 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... effictiveness of his recomendation. first, the author mentioned that the boo...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 6, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: First
...ctiveness of his recomendation. first, the author mentioned that the book sto...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 131, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Also
...its wide range variety of books it has. also, he suggested that the proposed cafe wo...
^^^^
Line 3, column 323, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...er that this truncating of the childrens section will have a negative effect on t...
^^
Line 3, column 376, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...l have a negative effect on this variety of books mentioned. also, the author tri...
^^
Line 3, column 398, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Also
...ct on this variety of books mentioned. also, the author tried to justify that by me...
^^^^
Line 3, column 556, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...tage of the population under ten years. however, a decline in the percentage of the pop...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...entage compared to the whole country. Moreover, while the board of directors s...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 228, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...tween the books and purchase some, they didnt consider the way in which the original ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 311, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...l customers of the store will look, and whether or not this opening of the cafe will make the ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t environments they usually live in. Finally, the author pointed to regal boo...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 285, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Such
...ects opening a cafe had on regan books. such a detail would be very meaningful to be...
^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...on is dealt with in a similar place. In a conclusion, the author bolstered hi...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, however, if, look, moreover, so, while, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 64.0 55.5748502994 115% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2203.0 2260.96107784 97% => OK
No of words: 448.0 441.139720559 102% => OK
Chars per words: 4.91741071429 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60065326758 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75809048759 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 208.0 204.123752495 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.464285714286 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 699.3 705.55239521 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 34.0 22.8473053892 149% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 117.695475071 57.8364921388 203% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 169.461538462 119.503703932 142% => OK
Words per sentence: 34.4615384615 23.324526521 148% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.61538461538 5.70786347227 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 5.25449101796 247% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.243602660903 0.218282227539 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0957275443044 0.0743258471296 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0733219507494 0.0701772020484 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.134651056995 0.128457276422 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0231540006566 0.0628817314937 37% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.0 14.3799401198 132% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 36.97 48.3550499002 76% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.6 12.197005988 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.85 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.67 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 98.500998004 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.6 11.1389221557 140% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.