The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.
"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer; several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe; and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight at 7 P.M. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The argument states the prediction that a jazz music club in Monroe would be profitable based on the information that jazz is very popular in this area and the fact that the club would have the market all to itself. However, before giving credence to the argument several pieces of evidence regarding the informations and assuptions are needed to evaluate its veracity.
Does the fact that there are no other jazz clubs in the vicinity, guarantee that this jazz club would be profitable? Maybe there are no other jazz clubs, but Is there no other store or business that provides jazz lovers with what they long for? If in fact, jazz is popular in this twon, there must be some other form of business that gives access to jazz products to its people. It might be in form of a Music store that also sells other products are weekly concerts that people can attend to. The fact that there are no jazz clubs in town does not mean that there are no jazz related activity that is popular among its people. The author claims that there is an annual jazz festival held in this town, which makes it hard to believe that there are no other businesses related to jazz. More evidence regarding the access of people to the sort of product that the jazz club intends to sell is needed to evaluate the validity of the argument.
In another aspect the author states that jazz is very popular in Monroe and to support this he mentions the ‘Jazz Nightly’ radio program and the number of people who attend the Monroe’s annual jazz festival. In regards to the radio program, does the fact that it is the highest-rated program it that specific time prove that it is actually popular among the people of Monroe? What are other programs that are on at the same time. Maybe the reason for the High rates is the fact that the program does not have anything to compete with and people have no other choice but to listen to that specific program. In addition, to assess the popularity of the jazz music in the town we need to know how many locals attend the jazz festival. It is quite possible that the number of local attendents of this festival are very few and a lot of fans come to this event because of the well-known jazz musicians that live in the town. If these prove to be true then the argument will no longer holds its ground.
Yet on another note, one might wonder does the $1000 spent on jazz entertainment by its fans according to the nationwide study bolsters the arguments beyond reproach? How large is sample pool used for this analysis? Is the result reliable? It might very well be the case that the total number of people asked by this survey were 1000 people across the contry, in which case would not make the results very trustworthy. On the other hand, even if this amoun of money presented by the survey is correct, does it mean that people on average spend $1000 on jazz entertainment in this town. What is the average income of people of Monroe? How many people should spend this much money in the club for it to be profitable? Will the club attract this many costumers or not? These are all questions that depending on the answer can weaken or strengthen the argument.
To paint a cogent picture, specific evidence regarding the popularity of jazz, the competition in the market, and the lucrativity of this jazz club are needed in order present a more sound conclusion for the argument.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 223, Rule ID: IN_REGARD_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'regarding' or 'with regard to'.
Suggestion: Regarding; With regard to
...the Monroe's annual jazz festival. In regards to the radio program, does the fact that i...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 935, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...n jazz musicians that live in the town. If these prove to be true then the argumen...
^^
Line 5, column 176, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...is jazz club are needed in order present a more sound conclusion for the argument...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, however, if, may, regarding, so, then, well, in addition, in fact, sort of, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 35.0 19.6327345309 178% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 30.0 13.6137724551 220% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 61.0 28.8173652695 212% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 83.0 55.5748502994 149% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2793.0 2260.96107784 124% => OK
No of words: 612.0 441.139720559 139% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.5637254902 5.12650576532 89% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.97379470361 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.3332023132 2.78398813304 84% => OK
Unique words: 240.0 204.123752495 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.392156862745 0.468620217663 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 874.8 705.55239521 124% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.9588289061 57.8364921388 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.423076923 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.5384615385 23.324526521 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.38461538462 5.70786347227 77% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.236402135571 0.218282227539 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0812008881743 0.0743258471296 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0768282259583 0.0701772020484 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.160989172226 0.128457276422 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.054348646102 0.0628817314937 86% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 14.3799401198 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 65.05 48.3550499002 135% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.46 12.5979740519 75% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.33 8.32208582834 88% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 98.500998004 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.