The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.
"Jazz music is extremely popular in the city of Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight. Also, a number of well-known jazz musicians own homes in Monroe. Nevertheless, the nearest jazz club is over an hour away. Given the popularity of jazz in Monroe and a recent nationwide study indicating that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment, we predict that our new jazz music club in Monroe will be a tremendously profitable enterprise."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
The application provided by the developers sound great at the first examination, and they do provide interesting facts and figures to support their claim. Adequate potential customers of jazz entertainments and the high spending on jazz musical activities will boost the business, so it seems viable and profitable for the loan provider to invest in the developers’ future business. However, some data are away from the analysis of the developers. The developers only provide superficial data, and more detailed information are needed regarding the demography of the 100,000 people that attend the annual jazz festival, the preference of the residents of Monroe in jazz music, and the economical ability of the people living in Monroe.
The first thing that come to mind about the data provided is the breakdown of the total number of the people that is analyzed. The developers mention that there are 100,000 people come to the annual music festival, and it sounds like a big deal for the investor. However, this figure must be broken into meaningful fractional data that correlate as potential customers of the business. What if 100,000 people figure is merely an insignificant number compared to the total population of Monroe? Perhaps, there are more than 10 millions people living in Monroe, so 100,000 people only account for 1% of total population. Other music genre might have bigger fans size compared to the jazz music. If this fact is true, then the investor will be unenthusiastic with the offer from the developers. Another possibility is that most of these people are from other cities outside Monroe, and they only come to the city when the event takes place. To better figure out this probability, the developers must analyze where these 100,00 come from, and would they willingly come to Monroe for Jazz entertainment? How far do they live from the proposed location of the club? How often they may come to the town for jazz entertainment at the new club? These questions must indeed be answered by the developers because if all the data does not make the proposed club profitable, they will not get the loan and their efforts will be futile.
Another factor that must be pinpointed is whether the current club is still within the reach of the people living nearby. These potential customers may think that the current club is still convenient for them as their usual place to enjoy the jazz. May be the people around this club has easy access to the club, either by their personal cars or by using public transportation, and if new club will be opened by the developer, it will face direct competition with the existing club. If this is the case, what is their strategy to face the existing club? What is something special about this club? How can they beat the existing club? If they can not afford to beat their already operating competitor, then they must find another place. Is there any other place that has no existing club within reachable distance? How far do the people want to travel for jazz entertainment in daily or weekly basis? These all questions must first be answered by the developers to finally make more proper conclusion and better proposal for their business.
The last thing that need to be considered is the economical ability of people in Monroe. The developers state that one fan pay 1,000 dollars annually for Jazz music. This figure is interesting for business, yet who exactly the people that want to pay that amount of money? Are they living in the city, or do they come from more affluent city? The developers also must find how many people can pay the products provided by their future club in the city or within the vicinity of their club. It is more wise from them to create a thorough customers survey first before making the provided assumption. If all these questions can not be answered properly, then the developers’ application is not compelling enough for now.
Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 128, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... number of the people that is analyzed. The developers mention that there are 100,0...
^^^
Line 5, column 254, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (May) must be used with a third-person verb: 'is'.
Suggestion: is
...heir usual place to enjoy the jazz. May be the people around this club has easy ac...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, however, if, may, regarding, so, still, then, thus
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.6327345309 163% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 23.0 12.9520958084 178% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 28.8173652695 180% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 75.0 55.5748502994 135% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3269.0 2260.96107784 145% => OK
No of words: 667.0 441.139720559 151% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.90104947526 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.08196252842 4.56307096286 111% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58945063075 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 274.0 204.123752495 134% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.410794602699 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1018.8 705.55239521 144% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 9.0 1.67365269461 538% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 33.0 19.7664670659 167% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.5166759098 57.8364921388 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.0606060606 119.503703932 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.2121212121 23.324526521 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.18181818182 5.70786347227 38% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 8.20758483034 219% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.223061188962 0.218282227539 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0641576206979 0.0743258471296 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0694706260697 0.0701772020484 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.167594593856 0.128457276422 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0723514340745 0.0628817314937 115% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 14.3799401198 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.14 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.45 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 119.0 98.500998004 121% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 16.0 12.3882235529 129% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 128, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... number of the people that is analyzed. The developers mention that there are 100,0...
^^^
Line 5, column 254, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (May) must be used with a third-person verb: 'is'.
Suggestion: is
...heir usual place to enjoy the jazz. May be the people around this club has easy ac...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, however, if, may, regarding, so, still, then, thus
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.6327345309 163% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 23.0 12.9520958084 178% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 28.8173652695 180% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 75.0 55.5748502994 135% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3269.0 2260.96107784 145% => OK
No of words: 667.0 441.139720559 151% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.90104947526 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.08196252842 4.56307096286 111% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58945063075 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 274.0 204.123752495 134% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.410794602699 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1018.8 705.55239521 144% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 9.0 1.67365269461 538% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 33.0 19.7664670659 167% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.5166759098 57.8364921388 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.0606060606 119.503703932 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.2121212121 23.324526521 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.18181818182 5.70786347227 38% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 8.20758483034 219% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.223061188962 0.218282227539 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0641576206979 0.0743258471296 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0694706260697 0.0701772020484 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.167594593856 0.128457276422 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0723514340745 0.0628817314937 115% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 14.3799401198 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.14 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.45 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 119.0 98.500998004 121% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 16.0 12.3882235529 129% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.