Furniture Depot employed our internet advertising company to help. Since then its sales increased by 10% over last year's totals. Furniture Depot's success demonstrates how using our internet services can increase your profitability.
he internet advertising company claims that use of internet can boost one's business. This claim
might be luring although there are obvious loopholes in the bosting.
Firstly, it does not look into the situations of increase in the sales as a whole. It is quite possible
that there might have been many other reasons for the sale to rise. Such as the company might
have started manufacturing a larger range of products hence attracting more customers.
It is also possible that the company might have expanded its area of sale, or used other flashy
tactics such as a flash sale or collaborate with a larger company. It is also possible that the
company might have increased the number of billboards and the number of stores in the area.
It also doesn't take into account other modes of publicity such as local radio, newspapers, local
cinema halls etc. The simple criteria that they might have trained the salesman to be more polite
and persuasive might also have had a large impact on the sales.
To add on, external factors such as shutting down of a dominate store, or inflow of residence due
to the opening of a university or coaching institute should also be considered.
Also, the claim does not mention anywhere if the company had previously been using a different
internet advertising company for their purpose.
The use of internet sure does increase the reach of the advertisements and might have a hand in
boosting profits, but it should be remembered that in the era we live in today, almost every one is
on the internet with their product, whatever it might be. This has not only increased competition
but also many advertisements go plain unseen. Online advertising also does not satisfy the
doubts of the customer regarding the quality issue.
Keeping the above mentioned points in mind, the internet advertising company might have some
truth in the claim and people can opt for Internet-based services in this progressing world, but
relying solely on this to boost sales is naive. This is just a catchy advertisement for gathering
more consumers.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws：
some arguments are duplicated. need other arguments, like:
1. it worked for last year, while it may not work for this year or future.
2. it worked for company A, while it may not work for company B.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 351 350
No. of Characters: 1679 1500
No. of Different Words: 179 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.328 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.783 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.619 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 108 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.91 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.733 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.351 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.721 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.098 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 8 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: He
he internet advertising company claims tha...
^^
Line 1, column 71, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...y claims that use of internet can boost ones business. This claim might be luring ...
^^^^
Line 1, column 96, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rnet can boost ones business. This claim might be luring although there are obvio...
^^^
Line 4, column 104, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e sales as a whole. It is quite possible that there might have been many other re...
^^^
Line 5, column 94, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... sale to rise. Such as the company might have started manufacturing a larger rang...
^^^
Line 8, column 96, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...d its area of sale, or used other flashy tactics such as a flash sale or collabor...
^^^
Line 9, column 96, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...er company. It is also possible that the company might have increased the number ...
^^^
Line 12, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...nd the number of stores in the area. It also doesnt take into account other mod...
^^
Line 12, column 9, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...umber of stores in the area. It also doesnt take into account other modes of public...
^^^^^^
Line 12, column 97, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...y such as local radio, newspapers, local cinema halls etc. The simple criteria th...
^^^
Line 13, column 98, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e trained the salesman to be more polite and persuasive might also have had a lar...
^^^
Line 16, column 54, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...ternal factors such as shutting down of a dominate store, or inflow of residence due to ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 16, column 98, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...minate store, or inflow of residence due to the opening of a university or coachi...
^^^
Line 19, column 95, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ny had previously been using a different internet advertising company for their p...
^^^
Line 22, column 96, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... advertisements and might have a hand in boosting profits, but it should be remem...
^^^
Line 23, column 100, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ra we live in today, almost every one is on the internet with their product, what...
^^^
Line 24, column 98, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... This has not only increased competition but also many advertisements go plain un...
^^^
Line 25, column 91, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ne advertising also does not satisfy the doubts of the customer regarding the qua...
^^^
Line 28, column 93, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rnet advertising company might have some truth in the claim and people can opt fo...
^^^
Line 29, column 97, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... services in this progressing world, but relying solely on this to boost sales is...
^^^
Line 30, column 98, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ust a catchy advertisement for gathering more consumers.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, if, look, regarding, so, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 55.5748502994 68% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 16.3942115768 24% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1765.0 2260.96107784 78% => OK
No of words: 350.0 441.139720559 79% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.04285714286 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.32530772707 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66040506353 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 179.0 204.123752495 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.511428571429 0.468620217663 109% => OK
syllable_count: 554.4 705.55239521 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.887349123 57.8364921388 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.3125 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.875 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.125 5.70786347227 72% => OK
Paragraphs: 23.0 5.15768463074 446% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 21.0 5.25449101796 400% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.158405848604 0.218282227539 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0623098027675 0.0743258471296 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0591078748659 0.0701772020484 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.053778376394 0.128457276422 42% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0563769273602 0.0628817314937 90% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.95 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.51 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.