An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
Vitamin A is quite essential for a human being to maintain high level immunity. Hence, the development of a new breed of millet high in vitamin A is a boon for natives of Tagus. Though, it sounds perfect for a spectator that the government must employ all efforts to promote this new breed of millet high in Vitamin A. There are some important factors which needs to be considered before passing any bill regarding the same.
-The international development organisation have cultivated new breed high in vitamin A to eradicate the Vitamin A deficiency in Tagus, but on what basis, Tagus is subjected to vitamin A deficiency? Was there any survey conducted among population or any health camp was organized to measure the health among population. The given information provide unsatisfactory insight to this part .
The survey or health camp or any means to to record the samples are vital for any research and its predictive outcome. It gives the empirical support to the steps taken in response to the problem which is confirmed from the collection of data samples from victims.
- Though Tagus nation is labelled as impoverished, there is no constructive solid statistical data which shows any percentage or comparison stating that, the significant amount of population of Tagus have Vitamin A deficiency.
The statistics provides a empirical evidence and a comparable numeric value to decide on the preventive measures and its urgency. The terminology most, many, most of all people having deficiency fails to describe the dreary situation among natives. Hence, government might not get the clarity on the population sufferings which may collapse the government.Hence statistical data is of utmost importance to decide on preventive measures.
-Although it is asserted in the given information that, many people from Tagus has vitamin A deficiency, there is no data mentioned specific to gender, age .
It is true that the Tagus has vitamin A deficiency among natives. The severity or level of the deficiency is not measured. It is essential to describe the nature of problem in terms of its severity otherwise the preventive measured may not give predictive outcomes.
- Hence to promote the breeding of millet high in vitamin A , there is no constructive data given on the basis of diagnosing the victims with vitamin A deficiency, the percentage of victims in proportion to total population, the age and or gender dominance among victims. Severity or levels of deficiency is not mentioned.
These are the points which needs to be answered first hand before passing or proposing any bill to the government or from the government.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 429 350
No. of Characters: 2155 1500
No. of Different Words: 178 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.551 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.023 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.883 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 158 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 129 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 91 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 68 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.579 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.991 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.421 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.685 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.073 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 9 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 386, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...vide unsatisfactory insight to this part . The survey or health camp or any mea...
^^
Line 5, column 40, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: to
... The survey or health camp or any means to to record the samples are vital for any re...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ection of data samples from victims. - Though Tagus nation is labelled as imp...
^^^^
Line 11, column 25, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...A deficiency. The statistics provides a empirical evidence and a comparable num...
^
Line 11, column 357, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Hence
...rings which may collapse the government.Hence statistical data is of utmost importanc...
^^^^^
Line 11, column 357, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...rings which may collapse the government.Hence statistical data is of utmost importanc...
^^^^^
Line 15, column 156, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...o data mentioned specific to gender, age . It is true that the Tagus has vitami...
^^
Line 21, column 60, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...the breeding of millet high in vitamin A , there is no constructive data given on ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, hence, if, may, regarding, so, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 12.9520958084 31% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 15.0 28.8173652695 52% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 55.5748502994 113% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2230.0 2260.96107784 99% => OK
No of words: 428.0 441.139720559 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.21028037383 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.548423998 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.00463757665 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.457943925234 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 731.7 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.1197603345 57.8364921388 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.5 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.4 23.324526521 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.65 5.70786347227 46% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 9.0 5.15768463074 174% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.321080483657 0.218282227539 147% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.102439248934 0.0743258471296 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.116240959644 0.0701772020484 166% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.130423606955 0.128457276422 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.109412141838 0.0628817314937 174% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 14.3799401198 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.7 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 98.500998004 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.