An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
It is good that international development organizations are concerned about the vitamin A deficiency among people of Tagus. Although the solution might feel like a hit but there are certain underlying assumptions which make this recommendation look disputed. Let us discuss below:
As it is stated that the millet is already a staple food in Tagus. It is assumed that new breed developed will have the same taste as previous breed. The taste preferences of people of Tagus has not been given serious consideration. In my view it must have got a serious consideration because the breed has been engineered and it could have a different taste that existing breed. If the taste is different then it could either increase the consumption or reduce it. If it is reduced then rather than addressing the problem, it could become a serious problem for development agency. Hence the taste trials must be conducted before fully launching the breed.
Also, it is not clear that how this new engineered breed will affect the natural resources of Tagus. Crops affect the local resources immensely. It is a cyclical process where natural resources are connected with agrarian systems. It is not clear how the new breed affects water table, pests, birds, soil, minerals etc. Hence a thorough analyses of environmental conditions must be done before rolling out the breed to ensure is it suitable to the local conditions of Tagus. Let us not assume that since existing breed of millet is there then new breed can also survive there.
It is also assumed that people will readily adopt new millet breed. What if the people are poor and the new breed does not generate yield to reflect in their cash reserves. We must understand that Vitamin A deficiency can occur due to them not consuming enough food resources rich in Vitamin A. One of the reason could be lack of financial resources. If we are not sure about greater returns than existing breed, then there is no point arguing about Vitamin A deficiency. People will only adopt when they will see a win win situation. If a balanced solution of increased yield with more vitamin A content can be provided then adoption could be better.
It is also assumed that consuming the new breed will ensure in combating the Vitamin A deficiency. This is a flawed assumption, because it is not documented that how much vitamin A existing millet is contributing in their diet. Also how much should be the ideal consumption of new breed be to overcome the deficiency is not told. In addition to it, there could be multiple solutions to the vitamin A deficiency which might be cost effective and would not involve the burden of subsidies on the economy.
I would recommend that the recommendations proposed should be analyzed thoroughly in light of sustainability, environmental conditions, taste preferences and economy etc. Then other solutions such as dairy promotions, green leafy vegetable promotion, fruits promotions etc should also be analyzed. Whoever performs better in long run in coherence with local conditions must be launched.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not OK
argument 4 -- not OK
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see the explanations here:
https://www.testbig.com/comment/84737#comment-84737
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 512 350
No. of Characters: 2505 1500
No. of Different Words: 233 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.757 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.893 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.74 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 166 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 132 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 93 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 64 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.963 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.609 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.593 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.292 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.516 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.115 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...look disputed. Let us discuss below: As it is stated that the millet is already...
^^
Line 3, column 407, Rule ID: RATHER_THEN[2]
Message: Did you mean 'different 'from''? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
Suggestion: from
...isting breed. If the taste is different then it could either increase the consumptio...
^^^^
Line 3, column 583, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...serious problem for development agency. Hence the taste trials must be conducted befo...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 338, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'analysis'?
Suggestion: analysis
...s, soil, minerals etc. Hence a thorough analyses of environmental conditions must be don...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 517, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: win
...le will only adopt when they will see a win win situation. If a balanced solution of in...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 536, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...when they will see a win win situation. If a balanced solution of increased yield ...
^^
Line 9, column 229, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...g millet is contributing in their diet. Also how much should be the ideal consumptio...
^^^^
Line 9, column 504, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the burden of subsidies on the economy. I would recommend that the recommendatio...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, if, look, so, then, in addition, such as, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 37.0 19.6327345309 188% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 27.0 12.9520958084 208% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 28.8173652695 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 43.0 55.5748502994 77% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2565.0 2260.96107784 113% => OK
No of words: 512.0 441.139720559 116% => OK
Chars per words: 5.009765625 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75682846001 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.80434949108 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 237.0 204.123752495 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.462890625 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 806.4 705.55239521 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 1.0 8.76447105788 11% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 19.7664670659 147% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 31.6027287011 57.8364921388 55% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 88.4482758621 119.503703932 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.6551724138 23.324526521 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.41379310345 5.70786347227 42% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 8.20758483034 219% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.344001873278 0.218282227539 158% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0938546099307 0.0743258471296 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0730291241718 0.0701772020484 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.177120603258 0.128457276422 138% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.079257878137 0.0628817314937 126% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 14.3799401198 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.3550499002 112% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.48 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.03 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 115.0 98.500998004 117% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.