Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable – my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. While the intent of hiring Swift may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods, the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
While the author puts forward some seemingly valid points in order to support her prediction of students eventually bringing less healthy foods due to the present cafeteria vendor serving low fat, low calorie meals, and hence, there being serious health consequences for the Kensington students, this argument is rife with holes and inconsistencies. While the co relations made seem logical and probable , several related questions need to be asked. Only after analyzing their answers can we make a decision regarding the prediction.
Firstly, the author reports that their son and a few of his friends complained regarding the school cafeteria serving low-fat, low-calorie options, but it is not specified exactly how many students out of the entire lot had the same complain. Is it only their son and a few of his friends who complained about this, and the rest of the students are acquiescent with the decision? In such a case it would be entirely wrong to make the prediction that most students would start bringing their own less healthy lunch meals eventually which would lead to serious health consequences for them. Hence, only when we know the percentage of students who are actually complaining about the healthy options being served can we evaluate the situation better.
Building on this, the author also suggests that, due the being unhappy with the low fat, low calorie meals being served in the school cafeteria, all the students will eventually start bringing their own less healthier options to lunch instead of eating the cafeteria food. But it is not known whether every student in Kensington Academy actually has the ability to do so. It is highly probable that a lot of the students have working parents who are not able to pack a lunch for them everyday and hence count on their child eating the cafeteria food. Also some students may not be able to afford bringing food from outside everyday and might rely on the food provided by the school for free or at subsidized rates. Hence, in order to determine whether truly the children will start bringing their own, less healthy lunch options instead of eating cafeteria food, we need to know if they have the ability or funds to do so.
The author also states that the food company serves low-fat, low-calorie lunch options that the students do not find enjoyable and thus if not replaced by a different vendor the students would bring their own less healthier lunch options to school. But the author does not mention the kind of food that the other vendors would be serving. It is quite possible that the other vendors serve food that is not low fat but also is not tasty. That would end up with the same result of the students not eating the cafeteria food. Also the author does not mention the whether the food served by Swift nutrition is tasty or not. If so, inspite of being low calorie, the food will be quite enjoyable to the students. Hence determining this will help in evaluating the situation better.
The author then says that low-fat, low-calorie meals are being served by the present cafeteria incharge, but he does not specify if only such healthy meals are being served or there are other less healthier items, or junk and packaged food available too. If that would be the case then the students would not resort to getting their own lunch and gladly enjoy some less healthier options if they wish to do so.
Therefor, after evaluating all the related factors and angles according to me the prediction made by the author can not be justified immediately. Several other related questions need to be answered first, after which a decision on the matter can be take.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 625 350
No. of Characters: 2972 1500
No. of Different Words: 233 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.755 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.393 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 196 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 158 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 97 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.174 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.601 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.826 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.336 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.336 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.137 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 404, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...relations made seem logical and probable , several related questions need to be as...
^^
Line 3, column 204, Rule ID: LESS_COMPARATIVE[1]
Message: Non-standard use of the comparative or superlative. Did you mean 'less healthy'?
Suggestion: less healthy
...ill eventually start bringing their own less healthier options to lunch instead of eating the ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 317, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...it is not known whether every student in Kensington Academy actually has the abil...
^^
Line 3, column 485, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
...o are not able to pack a lunch for them everyday and hence count on their child eating t...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 552, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
... their child eating the cafeteria food. Also some students may not be able to afford...
^^^^
Line 3, column 597, Rule ID: AFFORD_VBG[1]
Message: This verb is used with infinitive: 'to bring'.
Suggestion: to bring
...some students may not be able to afford bringing food from outside everyday and might re...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 624, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
...le to afford bringing food from outside everyday and might rely on the food provided by ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 210, Rule ID: LESS_COMPARATIVE[1]
Message: Non-standard use of the comparative or superlative. Did you mean 'less healthy'?
Suggestion: less healthy
...ndor the students would bring their own less healthier lunch options to school. But the author...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 523, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...students not eating the cafeteria food. Also the author does not mention the whether...
^^^^
Line 4, column 689, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...alorie, the food will be quite enjoyable to the students. Hence determining this ...
^^
Line 4, column 708, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...ll be quite enjoyable to the students. Hence determining this will help in evaluatin...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 150, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he does not specify if only such healthy meals are being served or there are othe...
^^
Line 5, column 194, Rule ID: LESS_COMPARATIVE[1]
Message: Non-standard use of the comparative or superlative. Did you mean 'less healthy'?
Suggestion: less healthy
...als are being served or there are other less healthier items, or junk and packaged food availa...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 366, Rule ID: LESS_COMPARATIVE[1]
Message: Non-standard use of the comparative or superlative. Did you mean 'less healthy'?
Suggestion: less healthy
...g their own lunch and gladly enjoy some less healthier options if they wish to do so. Therefo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, firstly, hence, if, may, regarding, so, then, thus, while, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.6327345309 158% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 12.9520958084 162% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 11.1786427146 197% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 28.8173652695 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3030.0 2260.96107784 134% => OK
No of words: 625.0 441.139720559 142% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.848 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.0 4.56307096286 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.43728719937 2.78398813304 88% => OK
Unique words: 244.0 204.123752495 120% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.3904 0.468620217663 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 900.9 705.55239521 128% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 7.0 1.67365269461 418% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 73.9891935092 57.8364921388 128% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.739130435 119.503703932 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.1739130435 23.324526521 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.08695652174 5.70786347227 72% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 14.0 5.25449101796 266% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.25042033417 0.218282227539 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0865970879681 0.0743258471296 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0757629616818 0.0701772020484 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.145799909142 0.128457276422 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0665352059257 0.0628817314937 106% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 60.99 48.3550499002 126% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.15 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.53 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 98.500998004 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.