Milk and dairy products are rich in vitamin D and calcium — substances essential for building and maintaining bones. Many people therefore say that a diet rich in dairy products can help prevent osteoporosis, a disease that is linked to both environmental and genetic factors and that causes the bones to weaken significantly with age. But a long-term study of a large number of people found that those who consistently consumed dairy products throughout the years of the study have a higher rate of bone fractures than any other participants in the study. Since bone fractures are symptomatic of osteoporosis, this study result shows that a diet rich in dairy products may actually increase, rather than decrease, the risk of osteoporosis.
The arguer claims that a diet rich in the dairy product may increase the risk of osteoporosis. This claim seems plausible for the normal reader but proper analyzer can say that this
argument is flawed. The author mentioned one of the surveys or long-term study of a large number of people found that those who consistently consumed dairy products throughout the years of the study have higher chances of osteoporosis. But the author has failed to provide the statistics, under what circumstances this survey was carried out, how many people have involved in this process, what is the age group that has been considered here.
Milk and dairy products are rich in vitamin D and calcium, this is the reason why doctors are asking many of the patients to include the dairy product in their diet. Even the Indian government is supporting this initiative via many of the channels, advertisement. If the dairy product causing a bone fracture, doctors, the government would have banned such ideas or initiatives.
Secondly, Author failed to claim about the people used in this long term study has been using the only dairy product throughout their life. There could be another possibility that, these please could have included some other diet which may cause bone fractures. If these people having some medical issue then this might be one of the reason. No data provided for which manufactured dairy product these people have been using.
To sum up, the argument made by the author is fallacious. In order to make this convincing, the author should provide some more logical, statistical and convincing data, also has to provide under what circumstance this long term study has been carried out.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 282 350
No. of Characters: 1379 1500
No. of Different Words: 152 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.098 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.89 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.462 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 90 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 61 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 39 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.692 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.333 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.692 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.361 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.58 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.052 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 83, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...ne of the surveys or long-term study of a large number of people found that those who consistentl...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 263, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...er diet which may cause bone fractures. If these people having some medical issue ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, as to, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 30.0 55.5748502994 54% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 5.0 16.3942115768 30% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1419.0 2260.96107784 63% => OK
No of words: 282.0 441.139720559 64% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.03191489362 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.09790868904 4.56307096286 90% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55916607893 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 154.0 204.123752495 75% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.54609929078 0.468620217663 117% => OK
syllable_count: 436.5 705.55239521 62% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.8487653637 57.8364921388 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.153846154 119.503703932 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.6923076923 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.92307692308 5.70786347227 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.24353777375 0.218282227539 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.103357140029 0.0743258471296 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.112015232009 0.0701772020484 160% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.151641609102 0.128457276422 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.104040595669 0.0628817314937 165% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.3799401198 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.89 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.21 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 98.500998004 64% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.