Muscle Man Gym wants to increase women member enrollment. The percentage of women who have monthly memberships is currently only 20%. In order to increase the number of women members, Muscle Man Gym should buy more cardiovascular equipment, because women like to use cardio machines. They should also advertise with pictures of body building women and should lower prices for women members. These methods will increase the number of women members, and will increase profits.
The speaker unreasonably concludes that ways to attract women members to get enrolled in order to increase the profits.Among the several untenable assumptions,the most glaring one pertains to increase in the cardiovascular equipment which would increase their business is entirely unsupported.The evidence is too weak and mostly irrelevant to the issues involved.Unless a number of questions were answered satisfactorily,this cannot be considered as a cogent argument.
Firstly the author states that muscle man gym wants to increase their women member enrollment which is currently twenty percent but he hasn't mentioned out of how much is that twenty percent refers too.There is no clear data or graph which represents the percentage of women members in the gym.He also failed to address about the gym services more eloquently.
Secondly he mentions that to increase women members cardiovascular equipments should be more in the gym but there is not clear data about does women only use that equipment in the gym.Given that women likes to use cardio machines on what basis he concludes the statement did he take any members polls and then bring into such conclusion or it was just his assumption.Pictures of body building women and lowering the prices for women members would really increase in their profits was there any proof that thing like this happened before in any other gym.
Thirdly there was no adequate data to ask to why does he wants to increase women member enrollment does that mean the men enrollment is good enough for their business.Is there a possibility that any other gym in surroundings has huge women enrollment so this decreases their business to gain that this is just a business tactics as he mentions to advertise so that people would get attracted.He also failed to mention the price which that is charged for women what if the charges are really too low and if they completely lower the prices then what is their profit that would have been more clearly stated.
In the conclusion this argument would have been more eloquent if the speaker had given more information about the reason behind to increase the enrollment of women members in the gym.Without ruling out alternative explanations and in the absence of requisite information this argument can't be deemed to be persuasive.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 7 15
No. of Words: 391 350
No. of Characters: 1915 1500
No. of Different Words: 188 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.447 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.898 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.622 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 130 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 98 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 55.857 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 29.034 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.474 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.805 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.215 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
I just recently signed up…
I just recently signed up for a gym and I don't really understand how I can build good muscles fast yet? Could one of you guys give me some tips?
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The speaker unreasonably concludes tha...
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Line 5, column 122, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Among
...rolled in order to increase the profits.Among the several untenable assumptions,the m...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 161, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
....Among the several untenable assumptions,the most glaring one pertains to increase i...
^^^^
Line 5, column 296, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
... their business is entirely unsupported.The evidence is too weak and mostly irrelev...
^^^
Line 5, column 366, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Unless
...ostly irrelevant to the issues involved.Unless a number of questions were answered sat...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 423, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , this
...f questions were answered satisfactorily,this cannot be considered as a cogent argume...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t be considered as a cogent argument. Firstly the author states that mus...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 29, column 142, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: hasn't
...hich is currently twenty percent but he hasnt mentioned out of how much is that twent...
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Line 29, column 208, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: There
... much is that twenty percent refers too.There is no clear data or graph which represe...
^^^^^
Line 29, column 300, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: He
... percentage of women members in the gym.He also failed to address about the gym se...
^^
Line 31, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...out the gym services more eloquently. Secondly he mentions that to incre...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 53, column 191, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Given
...omen only use that equipment in the gym.Given that women likes to use cardio machines...
^^^^^
Line 53, column 374, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Pictures
...onclusion or it was just his assumption.Pictures of body building women and lowering the...
^^^^^^^^
Line 55, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...his happened before in any other gym. Thirdly there was no adequate data...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 65, column 64, Rule ID: DOES_NP_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'want'?
Suggestion: want
... no adequate data to ask to why does he wants to increase women member enrollment do...
^^^^^
Line 65, column 64, Rule ID: DOES_X_HAS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'want'? As 'do' is already inflected, the verb cannot also be inflected.
Suggestion: want
... no adequate data to ask to why does he wants to increase women member enrollment do...
^^^^^
Line 65, column 105, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ants to increase women member enrollment does that mean the men enrollment is goo...
^^
Line 65, column 175, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Is
...lment is good enough for their business.Is there a possibility that any other gym ...
^^
Line 65, column 329, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'tactic'?
Suggestion: tactic
...ss to gain that this is just a business tactics as he mentions to advertise so that peo...
^^^^^^^
Line 65, column 400, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: He
...tise so that people would get attracted.He also failed to mention the price which ...
^^
Line 67, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... would have been more clearly stated. In the conclusion this argument wo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 89, column 190, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Without
... enrollment of women members in the gym.Without ruling out alternative explanations and...
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Line 89, column 292, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
... of requisite information this argument cant be deemed to be persuasive. ...
^^^^
Line 91, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ment cant be deemed to be persuasive.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, really, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2074.0 2260.96107784 92% => OK
No of words: 378.0 441.139720559 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.48677248677 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40933352052 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96708896395 2.78398813304 107% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 204.123752495 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.492063492063 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 607.5 705.55239521 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 5.0 19.7664670659 25% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 75.0 22.8473053892 328% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 110.77797615 57.8364921388 192% => OK
Chars per sentence: 414.8 119.503703932 347% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 75.6 23.324526521 324% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 16.2 5.70786347227 284% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 24.0 5.25449101796 457% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.371285214047 0.218282227539 170% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.217610269484 0.0743258471296 293% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0786245144586 0.0701772020484 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.217610269484 0.128457276422 169% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0786245144586 0.0628817314937 125% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 42.2 14.3799401198 293% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -4.65 48.3550499002 -10% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 14.6 7.1628742515 204% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 32.5 12.197005988 266% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 15.75 12.5979740519 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.82 8.32208582834 130% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 98.500998004 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 30.5 12.3882235529 246% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 32.0 11.1389221557 287% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 31.0 11.9071856287 260% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.