Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products, is opening its next franchise in the town of Plainsville. The store should prove to be very successful: Nature's Way franchises tend to be most profitable in areas where residents lead healthy lives, and clearly Plainsville is such an area. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. Finally, Plainsville's schoolchildren represent a new generation of potential customers: these schoolchildren are required to participate in a fitness-for-life program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age.
The author's conclusion that Nature's way, a chain of stores which sales heath food and other health-related products, is opening its next franchise in the town of plainsville and, bacause Plainsville is also known for the area where people live healthy lives, the stores will be proved to be profitable. The basis for tthe conclusion provided by the author needs more evidence for the conclusion to be stronger and there are some questions that need to be answered.
The first basis provided for the conclustion is that Nature's way has been proven profitable for the areas where people lead "healthy lives" and Plainsville is such area. This leads to the question that how this "healthy lives" is defined?. It is possible that other areas where healthy lifestyle is defined as having healthy diet, Yoga, meditaion or healthy lifestyle can also be defined as proper exercise, playing sports. It is stated that nature's way sells health food and other health related products. So if Plainsville residents believe more in sports or their defination of helathy lives is different than the residents of other areas that that will weaken the author's conclusion.
The author has stated that Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are all-time highs, and other reasons that weight training and aerobics classes are always full, this states that Plainsville people are more fond of execising than food. This doesn't provide any information on the diet of the food, as Nature's Way is said to be the store who sells health food, it may not be profitable in Plainsville.
The reason that Nature's way is profitable in other areas where people live healty lifestyle can be because there number of stores of Nature's Way are more and hence it is easily available to people. Also, it can be possible that Nature's Way is the only franchise available there which sells health products. But it can be stated from the paragraph that there are merchatns who sales running shoes and exercise clothing. And it is assumed that there are no competetors of Nature's Way for health food. Because no evidence is provided for number of health stores already there in Plainville, it is unfair to assume that the store will prove to be profitable.
The final basis states that Plainsville schoolchildren are required to participate in fitness-for-life program which emphasizes the benefits of the early exercise. "Emphasizing" word is misguiding readers to believe that the program is designed for children to live healthy lifestyle and it is assumed that all the students who joins the program will definitly live the healthy lifestyle. No evidence is provided that how many students actully turned to live healthy lifestyle.
In sum, more evidence on how many stores are already there in Plainsville and how "healthy lives" is defined would be more beneficial for the conclusion to be stronger.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 5, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
The authors conclusion that Natures way, a chain of...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...questions that need to be answered. The first basis provided for the conclustio...
^^^
Line 3, column 629, Rule ID: RATHER_THEN[2]
Message: Did you mean 'different 'from''? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
Suggestion: from
...efination of helathy lives is different than the residents of other areas that that ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 663, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: that
...erent than the residents of other areas that that will weaken the authors conclusion. ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 689, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...f other areas that that will weaken the authors conclusion. The author has stated t...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 97, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are all-time highs, and other r...
^^
Line 5, column 284, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... more fond of execising than food. This doesnt provide any information on the diet of ...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 373, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a sales'.
Suggestion: who is a sales
... the paragraph that there are merchatns who sales running shoes and exercise clothing. An...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, if, may, so
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 44.0 19.6327345309 224% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 31.0 13.6137724551 228% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 37.0 55.5748502994 67% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2477.0 2260.96107784 110% => OK
No of words: 479.0 441.139720559 109% => OK
Chars per words: 5.17118997912 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67825486995 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86872668495 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 191.0 204.123752495 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.398747390397 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 771.3 705.55239521 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 63.1429154995 57.8364921388 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 137.611111111 119.503703932 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.6111111111 23.324526521 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.0 5.70786347227 35% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.390593628307 0.218282227539 179% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.155951621231 0.0743258471296 210% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.148600458929 0.0701772020484 212% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.228475446181 0.128457276422 178% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.142976468707 0.0628817314937 227% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.2 14.3799401198 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.0 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.83 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 12.3882235529 149% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.