the following appeared as a letter to the editor of a national newspaper. "Your recent article on corporate downsizing* in Elthyria maintains that the majority of competent workers who have lost jobs as a result of downsizing face serious economic hardship, often for years, before finding other suitable employment. But this claim is undermined by a recent report on the Elthyrian economy, which found that since 1999 far more jobs have been created than have been eliminated, bringing the unemployment rate in Elthyria to its lowest level in decades. Moreover, two-thirds of these newly created jobs have been in industries that tend to pay above-average wages, and the vast majority of these jobs are full-time." *Downsizing is the process whereby corporations deliberately make themselves smaller, reducing the number of their employees.
The passage is aversing the statement that the recent downsizing in Elthyria leads to the unemployment of competent workers for a long period. The reasoning provided in the passage sounds cogent yet requires some evidence to support the claim.
Firstly, it is stated that corporate downsizing leads to unemployment until competent workers find "suitable" jobs. The author's claim that the more jobs have been created than have been eliminated does not provide any details of the field in which more jobs have been created and what is the field in which more jobs have been eliminated. For example, if the jobs created are majorly in the field of managerial work or the research work, and the jobs eliminated are in the field of industrial labor work. Then a comparison is not proper, industrial workers can not possess the job of managers or research scientists so that will lead to more unemployment and it weakens the author's claim. Also, the author's reasoning that two-thirds of these newly created jobs provide above-average wages leads to the same conclusion.
Moreover, the author's claim of above-average wages leads to the next question, that what are the standards of these jobs. how many jobs which are newly created, employed the workers. Another claim of the author that the vast majority of these newly created jobs are full-time does not provide any significance reasoning. It does not provide any evidence that it leads to the employment of the workers or it helps to diminish the unemployment of the Elthyria.
In sum, more evidence is needed to support the author's claim that the employment rate in Elthyria is not affected by corporate downsizing. It would have been helpful if the evidence ere provided for the fields in which the new jobs have been created and the field in which workers lost their jobs and how many of them got the new jobs since 1999.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 317 350
No. of Characters: 1533 1500
No. of Different Words: 120 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.22 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.836 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.567 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 96 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 87 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 58 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.417 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.108 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.428 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.622 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.158 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 123, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: How
...t what are the standards of these jobs. how many jobs which are newly created, empl...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, if, moreover, so, then, third, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 12.9520958084 23% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 37.0 55.5748502994 67% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1578.0 2260.96107784 70% => OK
No of words: 317.0 441.139720559 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.97791798107 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.21953715646 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73390398704 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 126.0 204.123752495 62% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.397476340694 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 478.8 705.55239521 68% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.3774657822 57.8364921388 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.384615385 119.503703932 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.3846153846 23.324526521 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.92307692308 5.70786347227 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.163886424735 0.218282227539 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0663688558415 0.0743258471296 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0522282753963 0.0701772020484 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.112850244812 0.128457276422 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0296784826864 0.0628817314937 47% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 48.3550499002 115% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.9 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.87 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 61.0 98.500998004 62% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.