"One year ago we introduced our first product, Bargain Brand breakfast cereal. Our very low prices quickly drew many customers away from the top-selling cereal companies. Although the companies producing the top brands have since tried to compete with us by lowering their prices and although several plan to introduce their own budget brands, not once have we needed to raise our prices to continue making a profit. Given our success in selling cereal, we recommend that Bargain Brand now expand its business and begin marketing other low-priced food products as quickly as possible."
In the given memo, the author asserts that the Bargain Brand breakfast cereal has successfully surpassed the existing top brands and has become the customer choice over time leading to its present success and future prospective for expansion. Thought the authors claim clearly mentions the result and plan, the given assertion lies under many unwarranted assumptions which when proven undermines the above statements.
First of all, the author says that the quality of cereal distributed by Bargain Brand breakfast and the top brands are the same. If the customers prefer the former brand for the latter then the quality of both brands should be same which is not mentioned in the memo. If there lies the fact that the quality of the former is inferior to the later, the ebullient claim thus mentioned by the author is seriously challenged because customers do not compromise with the quality over quantity.
Secondly, the author mentions that the top brands are not having much profit as Bargain Brand breakfast is having for this reason the top brands are lowering their price while the Bargain Brand has not to do so. But the author does not mention that the other top brands might have other commodity to sell which is generating the profit they need. However, it might be the case that the other top brands are exporting their products out of the area or other countries and making their profit without lowering the price. If this scenario exists, the claim made by the author is seriously challenged.
Lastly, the author suggests that the Bargain Brand must expand their business with other low-priced food products but he does not mention about the type of market preference of the people. For example, there might be the existing situation in the market that the other food products which Bargain Brand is planning to bring into business are already present at the lowest price possible. Perhaps, the kind of profit the author is dreaming about might not be achievable as the market saturation with the product is already prevalent. If this scenario too exists, the claim made by the author is impaired.
Finally, the above mentioned memo lies under many of such unwarranted assumptions which if proven, strongly question the claim and the conclusion drawn.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 378 350
No. of Characters: 1857 1500
No. of Different Words: 164 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.409 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.913 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.346 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 136 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 90 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.792 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.857 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.403 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.403 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.138 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 77, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he top brands are not having much profit as Bargain Brand breakfast is having for...
^^
Line 5, column 89, Rule ID: IF_IS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'is'?
Suggestion: is
...y of such unwarranted assumptions which if proven, strongly question the claim and...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, however, if, lastly, second, secondly, so, then, thus, while, for example, kind of, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 55.5748502994 63% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1894.0 2260.96107784 84% => OK
No of words: 378.0 441.139720559 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.01058201058 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40933352052 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.39924192277 2.78398813304 86% => OK
Unique words: 165.0 204.123752495 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.436507936508 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 558.9 705.55239521 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.4732726692 57.8364921388 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 135.285714286 119.503703932 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.0 23.324526521 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.35714285714 5.70786347227 146% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.236407361268 0.218282227539 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0957192200488 0.0743258471296 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0870730383332 0.0701772020484 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.13095230519 0.128457276422 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0666081002577 0.0628817314937 106% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.7 14.3799401198 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.53 48.3550499002 109% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 12.197005988 103% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.07 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.03 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 98.500998004 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.