"In order to relieve Briggsville’s notorious traffic congestion, Mayor Harrison Smith Jones plans to build a multi-million dollar subway system. The subway will run through the major downtown areas, a part of the town where buses serve as the only form of public transportation. For years, residents have been complaining both about inconsistent buses, and the general lack of safety while riding the buses. Additionally, the subway will be running twenty-four hours a day. Since motorists will spend less time in traffic, Mayor Harrison Smith Jones expects to see an immediate increase in worker productivity, which will improve the economy of Briggsville."
In this memo, the author contends that Mayor Harrison Smith Jones expects an increase in worker productivity, which will improve the economy of Briggsville. He or she uses the following premises, as evidence to support his or her claims; first the fact that a new multi-billion dollar subway system will be constructed in order to reduce the city's traffic congestion, second the concept that the subway system will be running twenty-four hours a day and motorist will spend less time in traffic. The reasoning of the argument is totally flawed, as it is based upon unsubstantiated assumptions.
Firstly, the author fails to ensure us about the effectiveness of building a multi-million dollar subway system, as a result of traffic congestion at Briggsville. The specific view constitutes more a positive correlation, rather than a casual connection. Perhaps, the ground of Briggsville is not strong enough to support and maintain a subway system. Also, there may be many other cost-effective options that the author overlooks. For example an overground tram system. The spokesperson should have quoted that among all other options studied, the construction of a subway system is the best one. In reference to that, he or she would have provided compelling evidemce for his or her claims.
Secondly, it is too hastily presented that the subway system will run through the major downtown areas, where buses suggest the only option until now. Probably, the fact that both buses and subway will serve the same area, will render the city's transports system unefficient. The author should justify why both transports should serve the same area and how efficient that appears. In addition, the issue that the potential subway system will run twenty-four hours a day is scant and lacks substantiation, The readers are given no indication of the actual need of transports during the evening. The arguer, should have presented accurate data and detailed information about the need for transports during the day, in order for us to accept the effectiveness and validity of his or her claims.
Furthermore, the fact that a new subway system will be constructed , does not necessarily mean that motorists will spend less time in traffic. It is likely that the city will be have many construction sites for many years and thus, traffic congestion will be even worse. The author, should have cited specific data, for instance surveys that approve the fact that motorists will spend less time on the road, in order for the audiences to accept the validity of his or her claims.
In conclusion, nothing ensures the claims of Mayor Harrison Smith Jones, that productivity and economy will both rise in the city of Briggsville. Perhaps, people from lower income levels will flood the city, as they will be able to move using a cheaper method. The author should have displayed, detailed information of the potential results of a thriving economy of the city.
The argument is weak, since neither is the conclusion sound, nor is the suggestion legitimate. Had there been substantial evidence, perhaps, the argument would have sounded more credible, but in its absence, it sounds indefensible.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 517 350
No. of Characters: 2590 1500
No. of Different Words: 236 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.768 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.01 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.729 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 193 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 127 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 58 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.478 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.379 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.478 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.294 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.535 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.093 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 194, Rule ID: MORE_A_JJ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'a more positive'?
Suggestion: a more positive
...ggsville. The specific view constitutes more a positive correlation, rather than a casual conne...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 67, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... a new subway system will be constructed , does not necessarily mean that motorist...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, furthermore, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, thus, for example, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 27.0 12.9520958084 208% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 47.0 55.5748502994 85% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2679.0 2260.96107784 118% => OK
No of words: 517.0 441.139720559 117% => OK
Chars per words: 5.18181818182 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.76839952204 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83670097786 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 249.0 204.123752495 122% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.481624758221 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 804.6 705.55239521 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 17.0 8.76447105788 194% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.2367650106 57.8364921388 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.47826087 119.503703932 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.4782608696 23.324526521 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.47826086957 5.70786347227 113% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.285203649252 0.218282227539 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.077954509404 0.0743258471296 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0841388185661 0.0701772020484 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.134720756039 0.128457276422 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.084170785644 0.0628817314937 134% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.06 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.61 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 127.0 98.500998004 129% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.