In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than 9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores.
The author of the sentence above, while supporting his thesis, has provided arguments that are generally not well-supported and that can be easily refuted. As a matter of fact, at least three logical problems can be found in his argumentation.
First of all, the writer is strongly persuaded that the finances of his activity would get in a better shape by decreamenting operative expenses. However, while it may be argued that this change would bring a growth in his business, no evidence is given. For instance, even if the author has mentioned about the measures that have been taken in one of his stores, he has not reported any further information about the financial results gained.
In addition, it is not clear whether the choice of closing at 6:00 PM is worthy or not. No statistic is reported about the part of the day in which most of the deals are made. As the grounds which have led the owner to this decision are not discussed in the text above, the incomes of Movies’s Galore may not be significantly improved. For instance, as many people finish working around 6pm, they may not be able to get in the shop on time and that would heat even stronger the economy situation of the company.
Last, the owner of the company, after affirming that a rise in prices would compromise his shop’s reputation, has not analyzed deeply enough this option. Indeed, while it may be agreed that increasing prices is generally bad for a shop’s economy, it is also true that it could be the right reaction to a general change in video rental’s costs range.
In conclusion, I am entirely convinced that, if more data about the profits of the store in downtown Marston were reported and if more different options to recover economically were taken into consideration, the argument would have been well-proved. However, the information given are too vague, so the author’s assumptions are just partially correct.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, may, so, well, while, at least, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, as a matter of fact, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 55.5748502994 74% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1602.0 2260.96107784 71% => OK
No of words: 328.0 441.139720559 74% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.88414634146 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.25567506705 4.56307096286 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73662992877 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 185.0 204.123752495 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.564024390244 0.468620217663 120% => OK
syllable_count: 503.1 705.55239521 71% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 2.70958083832 332% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.1559350739 57.8364921388 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.230769231 119.503703932 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.2307692308 23.324526521 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.2307692308 5.70786347227 179% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0623573537724 0.218282227539 29% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0205311952692 0.0743258471296 28% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0193773319416 0.0701772020484 28% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0343338588747 0.128457276422 27% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.021993261252 0.0628817314937 35% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 48.3550499002 113% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.32 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.82 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 98.500998004 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.