In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore's ten movie-rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 p.m. rather than 9:00 p.m. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores.
In the above argument author states that in order to generate more profit without jeopradizing the reputation of the store they should start closing there store early and eliminate some of its stocks. Though this seems to pretty convincing when we put all the points given in the argument together, analzing them seperately somewhere doesn't seem to be that strong and helpful.
Firslty, to drive out to any conclusion we need a strong statistical data to study from which is missing in this argument.
Nowhere in this argument is the credibilty for the points that there is a profit increase in downtown, decrease in operating expenses by closing early and reducing stock supported is undermined because of its absence. It is mentioned that the store is famous for its rental prices and raising them is not a viable way. There is no convincing statistical data which could prove the credibilty that raising the rental prices would deteriote there reputation there is a high chance that the prices they currently provide are still not competitive enough with other stores in the market and raising them will not have have that much effect on its customer. A survey should be done in order to understand the impace of this, straight away drawing a conclusion isn't a good way to deal with.
As a solution to this problem they think of closing the store early like they did in downtown Marston, a scenario can be considered here that the store there didn't have much of its customer coming to but the video in those particular therefore, closing the store early worked out to be a good option for them. Applying this here might prove out to be disastorous as we are not aware whether the customers in this store visit during those ours it can happen that apart from whole day the sales are best during the time from 6 to 9 and closing down the store in these hours will further prove out to be a loss for them.
Besides this the store in downtown also eliminated there collection for the movies released more than five year ago, this further weaken the conclusion that these might turn out to be fruitful. It can be thought that people visiting the store there are more interested in the new collection and people in this store are more interested in the old ones rather than new because a person buys a video for that movie which he or she loves or the ones that he can't watch on the TV and in today's date most of the new movies are available on TV and it is the old ones people search for. Further there is no data to classify the type of movies people are interested in.
It can be concluded that this argument is not correcly reasoneda and the result that author draws is flimsy where the points supporting it are not strong enough to put that in effect. The logical conclusion could be to come up with a another ways to increase the profit, if not then carefully examining the ones that author aims to apply. Additionally the evidence presented in the argument weakens its credibility as author does't cite a source to verify its validity. If an argument addresses all the above mentioned issues it would more stronger than the one given.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 564 350
No. of Characters: 2552 1500
No. of Different Words: 244 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.873 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.525 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.39 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 166 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 108 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 78 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 35.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.57 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.375 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.332 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.583 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.182 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 335, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...her, analzing them seperately somewhere doesnt seem to be that strong and helpful. ...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 609, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: have
...in the market and raising them will not have have that much effect on its customer. A sur...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 614, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'had'.
Suggestion: had
...e market and raising them will not have have that much effect on its customer. A sur...
^^^^
Line 4, column 755, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: isn't
...his, straight away drawing a conclusion isnt a good way to deal with. As a solut...
^^^^
Line 6, column 159, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...be considered here that the store there didnt have much of its customer coming to but...
^^^^^
Line 6, column 530, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...les are best during the time from 6 to 9 and closing down the store in these hour...
^^
Line 8, column 456, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...ich he or she loves or the ones that he cant watch on the TV and in todays date most...
^^^^
Line 10, column 140, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'is'?
Suggestion: is
...s flimsy where the points supporting it are not strong enough to put that in effect...
^^^
Line 10, column 233, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...cal conclusion could be to come up with a another ways to increase the profit, if...
^
Line 10, column 340, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Additionally,
...ing the ones that author aims to apply. Additionally the evidence presented in the argument ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 10, column 419, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'author the doest'.
Suggestion: author the doest
...the argument weakens its credibility as author doest cite a source to verify its validity. I...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 10, column 470, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...t cite a source to verify its validity. If an argument addresses all the above men...
^^
Line 10, column 535, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'stronger' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: stronger
...all the above mentioned issues it would more stronger than the one given.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, if, so, still, then, therefore, apart from
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.6327345309 158% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 22.0 13.6137724551 162% => OK
Pronoun: 62.0 28.8173652695 215% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 75.0 55.5748502994 135% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2591.0 2260.96107784 115% => OK
No of words: 560.0 441.139720559 127% => OK
Chars per words: 4.62678571429 5.12650576532 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.8645985582 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.40942491974 2.78398813304 87% => OK
Unique words: 247.0 204.123752495 121% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.441071428571 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 827.1 705.55239521 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 35.0 22.8473053892 153% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 89.741904231 57.8364921388 155% => OK
Chars per sentence: 161.9375 119.503703932 136% => OK
Words per sentence: 35.0 23.324526521 150% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.875 5.70786347227 68% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 5.25449101796 247% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.165534410038 0.218282227539 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0589009234813 0.0743258471296 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0558381987802 0.0701772020484 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0787791116242 0.128457276422 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0496202084101 0.0628817314937 79% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.9 14.3799401198 124% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.41 48.3550499002 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 12.197005988 130% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.17 12.5979740519 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.11 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 98.500998004 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 16.0 11.1389221557 144% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 11.9071856287 134% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.