In order to save a considerable amount of money, Rockingham’s century-old town hall should be torn down and replaced by the larger and more energy-efficient building that some citizens have proposed. The old town hall is too small to comfortably accommodate the number of people who are employed by the town. In addition, it is very costly to heat the old hall in winter and cool it in summer. The new, larger building would be more energy efficient, costing less per square foot to heat and cool than the old hall. Furthermore, it would be possible to rent out some of the space in the new building, thereby generating income for the town of Rockingham.
The argument being made is that the old town hall in Rockingham is very old and energy inefficient. In addition, the size of the town hall is said to be too small to accomodate the entire count of people who are employed by the town. Another point made in favor of demolishing and reconstructing the town hall is to accomodate larger space, and then give out extra space in order to generate some passive revenue. There seems to be a lot of assumptions being made for this particular proposal, and the validity of the proposal mainly depends how well the evidence would support the assumptions.
Firstly, it has been claimed that the solution for the energy efficiency of the old town hall is to demolish the old one, and construct a new, more energy efficient one. For this to be true, first of all it has to be shown that the savings in energy during a period of time is greater than the cost of demolishing and reconstructing the town hall. The proposal fails to address this point, and hence the argument on this ground is weakened. Furthermore, if energy inefficiency is the only concern, then replacing the old heaters, coolers and other electronic equipments would be equally helpful. This will also result in a big saving in the cost of demolishion on reconstruction.
Secondly, it has been claimed that the old town hall is too small to comfortably accomodate the number of people employed by the town. Again, we find that the is a crucial piece of information missing that helps validate the strength of the assumption. It might be the case that the town hall would not be able to accomodate every single person employed by the town, but in reality, maybe only a fraction of people employed by the town actually work at the town hall at a time. For instance, the police of the particular town may be employed under the town hall, but they would be largely limited to work outside the town hall, and they would be able to work from their respective police stations.
Finallly, it has been assumed that the renovated building would have some space, and it could be rented out to get some extra income. But, it has not been made clear that after renting out the extra space, if the total space left would be smaller, equal to, or greater than the space of the old town hall. Moreover, if the requirement is only additional space, the possibility of extending the old town hall can be pursued, which would again save a lot compared to the task of reconstruction.
In conclusion, the assumptions being made in favor of the argument to tear down and replace the building has not been substantiated by adequate evidence. Without having concrete facts on some of the other underlying factors that has to be considered while making such a decision, it would not be prudent to go with the proposed argument.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 497 350
No. of Characters: 2260 1500
No. of Different Words: 210 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.722 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.547 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.569 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 131 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 106 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.611 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.66 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.367 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.489 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.101 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 21, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Flaws
...ess some questions about its possible flaws. First of all, the company needs to a...
^^^^^
Line 27, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Production
...es as compared to the movies of other production companies is. The number of people goin...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 29, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: May
... The number of people going to movies may have been in universal decline. If this...
^^^
Line 37, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Than
...more to boost Super Screen viewership than advertising promoting its own good revi...
^^^^
Line 37, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_THEM[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Then'?
Suggestion: Then
...more to boost Super Screen viewership than advertising promoting its own good revi...
^^^^
Line 37, column 1, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “than” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...more to boost Super Screen viewership than advertising promoting its own good revi...
^^^^
Line 43, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Number
...needs to ask what the actual original number of positive reviews was. If Super Scree...
^^^^^^
Line 43, column 33, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ginal number of positive reviews was. If Super Screen movies recieved 1% posit...
^^
Line 49, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: To
... that message to viewers is not going to increase Super Screen attendence. Makin...
^^
Line 51, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Be
...ttendence. Making better movies would be much more likely to increase attendence...
^^
Line 55, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Its
... ask what the relationship is between its viewers and the movie reviewers cited i...
^^^
Line 63, column 51, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...aste as the target audience and exactly whether or not movie reviews are reaching the audien...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 65, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Movie
...t audience and exactly whether or not movie reviews are reaching the audience. Supe...
^^^^^
Line 69, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Reviewer
...ices have affected the separate movie reviewer and audience populations. If the studio...
^^^^^^^^
Line 69, column 36, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ie reviewer and audience populations. If the studio has switched from making m...
^^
Line 73, column 5, Rule ID: GENERAL_XX[1]
Message: Use simply 'public'.
Suggestion: public
...on movies to more nuanced dramas, the general public may be less willing to go see their mov...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 75, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Though
...s willing to go see their movies even though movie critics prefer the dramas to the ...
^^^^^^
Line 75, column 1, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “though” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...s willing to go see their movies even though movie critics prefer the dramas to the ...
^^^^^^
Line 77, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Finally,
...efer the dramas to the action movies. Finally the studio must ask whether the percent...
^^^^^^^
Line 81, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Of
...t way to measure the potential impact of movie reviews. There are dozens of movi...
^^
Line 83, column 47, Rule ID: GENERAL_XX[1]
Message: Use simply 'public'.
Suggestion: public
...ng whether to not to go to a movie, the general public will usually pick from among the 1...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 87, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Usually
...o a movie, the general public will usually pick from among the 10 most popular mov...
^^^^^^^
Line 91, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Advertising
...ss the public if they are included in advertising. If the most popular movie reviewers di...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 91, column 14, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... if they are included in advertising. If the most popular movie reviewers dislik...
^^
Line 97, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Advertising
... Super Screen needs to think of a new advertising strategy. In conclusion, there are ma...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 101, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Answer
... many questions Super Screen needs to answer before using this advertising directors...
^^^^^^
Line 105, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Reviews
...s, both of viewership and of positive reviews. The also need to identify the relation...
^^^^^^^
Line 109, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Audience
...iewers and determine how their target audience feels about their movies. Fianlly they ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 111, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Nuanced
...r movies. Fianlly they need to take a nuanced look at the movie reviews that they use...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, look, may, really, second, secondly, so, as to, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 70.0 55.5748502994 126% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2967.0 2260.96107784 131% => OK
No of words: 549.0 441.139720559 124% => OK
Chars per words: 5.4043715847 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.84053189512 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.49191112795 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 204.123752495 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.406193078324 0.468620217663 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 873.9 705.55239521 124% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 65.9756403832 57.8364921388 114% => OK
Chars per sentence: 134.863636364 119.503703932 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.9545454545 23.324526521 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.22727272727 5.70786347227 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 53.0 5.15768463074 1028% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 29.0 5.25449101796 552% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 8.20758483034 231% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.279220898305 0.218282227539 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0971969598831 0.0743258471296 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0696855889162 0.0701772020484 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0744027782284 0.128457276422 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.072467171568 0.0628817314937 115% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.5 14.3799401198 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.34 12.5979740519 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.7 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 98.500998004 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.