Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels."
The writer of the letter concludes that prohibiting of skateboarding in Central Plaza will subsequently increase the store owners business. The evidence is that before skateboarding came into the plaza, store owners had good business and vandalism was not seen around the plaza. While this letter may seem tenable at first glance, the conclusion relies on the assumption for which there is no clear evidence. Thus the following three quest ions must be answered.
First and foremost, are the number of costumers of the shop’s affected due to the increasing popularity of skateboarding? The author’s assumption is not practically true, as the customers rely on the shop’s product majorly rather than the people who are visiting the plaza. Perhaps skateboard enthusiast doesn’t have any relation with the shop’s product and decreasing profit of the shop might have due to the quality of the product, high price. If this scenario is true, then the assertion of the writer is significantly hampered
Secondly, do the damage to the plaza and increase in garbage has much affect on the business of the shops? As the increase in the number of people visiting plaza will have a subsequent effect on the aesthetic of the plaza. It is clear that if this was a problem for the customer to come shopping in the shops there would not have increased in the skateboarding crowd. If this is the case then the writer must mention cogent proof that customers have the problem with litter in the plaza.
Finally, the decrease in the customer might have cost due to the economy of the people around, the product might not be useful to the majority of the population. Perhaps blaming on the skateboarding is not fundamentally correct. It is possible that the economy of customers has been decreased. As the author mentions about it two years ago, the economic condition and peoples perspective might have changed today that has affected their business today.
Because the argument makes several unwarranted assumptions, it fails to make a convincing scenario that banning the skateboarding in the plaza will increase the business of the shop owners.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 353 350
No. of Characters: 1744 1500
No. of Different Words: 166 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.335 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.941 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.717 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 124 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.765 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.567 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.471 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.348 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.574 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.077 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 410, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...n for which there is no clear evidence. Thus the following three quest ions must be ...
^^^^
Line 9, column 71, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'effect'?
Suggestion: effect
... plaza and increase in garbage has much affect on the business of the shops? As the incre...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 108, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ch affect on the business of the shops? As the increase in the number of people vi...
^^
Line 9, column 369, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...e increased in the skateboarding crowd. If this is the case then the writer must m...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, if, may, second, secondly, then, thus, while
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 55.5748502994 77% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1825.0 2260.96107784 81% => OK
No of words: 353.0 441.139720559 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.16997167139 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.33454660006 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86381110115 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 170.0 204.123752495 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.481586402266 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 558.9 705.55239521 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.8415444714 57.8364921388 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.0625 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0625 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.75 5.70786347227 66% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.260579567329 0.218282227539 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0887876688493 0.0743258471296 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0677424628167 0.0701772020484 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.140484905534 0.128457276422 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0467979019497 0.0628817314937 74% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.71 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.53 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.