Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
This argument is full of vague terms that need to be addressed. Primarily, the argument the fails to provide the information about intensiveness of college, ratio of professional student dancers to total students, capability of students and ballet companies that are considered to be prestigious.
The argument recommends that Pirouettes Ballet school has most intensive program but fails to describe the measure for such intensiveness. Either they have efficient equipment for training of students or the institute provides separate classes for each students depending upon the capability of the student. If the answer to both of the questions is positive, then there comes its comparison with other ballet schools. Aren't there any of the schools in Elmtown that provide the same facilities as Pirouettes school? If there is no any school with such facilities then it is worthwhile to send students to Pirouettes Ballet school.
Along with failing to describe the idea of intensiveness, the argument fails to describe the number of students who have become professional. It might be the case that the students who have made it to be part of professional dancers of top dance companies have been prodigious. Therefore, such students cannot be compared to the all of the other normal students. However, if the students who have no dance knowledge made it to be professional dancers and ratio of such students to the total students is high then Pirouettes Ballet school has some advantage.
Considering the fact that teachers have danced for most prestigious ballet companies, is it necessary the students will end up having same capabilities like that teachers? All human beings are not of same strength and physical structure, there are some constraints of physical structure like short height and increased weight that limit the steps taken during dance. Does the Pirouettes Ballet school ensure that the students with such constraints be able to dance like professionals? If it is the case, then undoubtedly the institute is better for such children.
Lastly, the argument does not provide the evidence for top dance companies that have taken professional dancers from Pirouettes Ballet school. It might be the case that other schools have approach to more powerful companies than that of this school. In such case, the Pirouettes Ballet school must prove itself to be distinguished in measures described above. If answers to all of the above questions comes in favor of this school. Then it is undoubtedly worth it to send students to this school.
Therefore, it can be concluded that arguments needs to justify the important factors of intensiveness, its ratio of professional students and its capability to train children that have some physical constrarints associated to them, to prove its worth.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 450 350
No. of Characters: 2314 1500
No. of Different Words: 178 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.606 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.142 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.827 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 166 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 130 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 108 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 67 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.429 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.208 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.476 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.345 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.577 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.106 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 419, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Aren't
...s comparison with other ballet schools. Arent there any of the schools in Elmtown tha...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 516, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...e same facilities as Pirouettes school? If there is no any school with such facili...
^^
Line 2, column 528, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...ities as Pirouettes school? If there is no any school with such facilities then it...
^^
Line 3, column 329, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...such students cannot be compared to the all of the other normal students. However, if the ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 360, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...tinguished in measures described above. If answers to all of the above questions c...
^^
Line 5, column 374, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...measures described above. If answers to all of the above questions comes in favor of this ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 391, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'questions'' or 'question's'?
Suggestion: questions'; question's
...d above. If answers to all of the above questions comes in favor of this school. Then it ...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, lastly, so, then, therefore, while
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 64.0 55.5748502994 115% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2360.0 2260.96107784 104% => OK
No of words: 449.0 441.139720559 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.2561247216 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60321845022 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91316244722 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 204.123752495 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.41425389755 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 718.2 705.55239521 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.984560764 57.8364921388 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.380952381 119.503703932 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.380952381 23.324526521 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.47619047619 5.70786347227 43% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.388439105126 0.218282227539 178% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.139137194391 0.0743258471296 187% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0913119043023 0.0701772020484 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.214370218107 0.128457276422 167% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.115093769409 0.0628817314937 183% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.23 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.74 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 98.500998004 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.