A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. First born humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring.
Through this argument, the editor wants to establish a relation between firstborn and the release of the hormone cortisol. There can be other plausible explanations which we need to take into account to judge the soundness of the argument.
Firstly, the editor talks about how the firstborn show higher cortisol activity than their younger siblings. The above picture can also be explained by the age difference between siblings, the eldest one being more cognitive than the rest. This can explain the increased activity level in presence of an unfamiliar monkey because due to their higher cognitive ability they are able to sense the possible danger. Same is the case with return of a parent after an absence, the older one expects some kind of presents to be brought by them.
Secondly, higher cortisol can also be attributed to the body size. If cortisol is proportional to the body size, one who is most grown-up is expected to have higher cortisol. Hence we cannot gain any substantial information by comparing the cortisol level of siblings who are in different age phase.
Thirdly, if presence of certain genes affect cortisol production and the in the 18 monkeys used for the purpose of research these genes were present in the firstborn as compared to other siblings. Also, both the subjects involved in this research are primates(monkeys and humans) that’s why a proper study has to be done for other animal groups.
Fourthly, in the case of first-time mother the higher cortisol can be attributed to the nervousness or excitement which can be absent in the case of mothers who had several offspring because they might have been busy in taking care of the children rather than feeling nervous or because they have gone through this phase before and are pretty confident this time.
Finally, there is not enough evidence to support the argument presented by the editor. His reasoning can also be validated by other factors which he had not mentioned in the letter. Also, there is a lack of information regarding the nature of the monkeys used in the studies, such as their age, gender etc. Until and unless these details are not available we cannot testify to the points presented by the editor.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- the topic didn't talk about body size.
argument 3 -- OK
argument 4 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 372 350
No. of Characters: 1799 1500
No. of Different Words: 193 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.392 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.836 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.517 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 136 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.8 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.357 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.733 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.341 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.657 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.138 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 471, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ith return of a parent after an absence, the older one expects some kind of prese...
^^
Line 5, column 176, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...up is expected to have higher cortisol. Hence we cannot gain any substantial informat...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, hence, if, regarding, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, as to, kind of, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1854.0 2260.96107784 82% => OK
No of words: 372.0 441.139720559 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.98387096774 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.39173103935 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58921069527 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 197.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.529569892473 0.468620217663 113% => OK
syllable_count: 593.1 705.55239521 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 65.8304818739 57.8364921388 114% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.875 119.503703932 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.25 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.4375 5.70786347227 130% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0996340684727 0.218282227539 46% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.034526851547 0.0743258471296 46% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0458962388389 0.0701772020484 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0488834550799 0.128457276422 38% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0476934496818 0.0628817314937 76% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.3799401198 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.9 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.22 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 98.500998004 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.