A recent study indicates that children living in the Himalayan mountain region in Nepal have lower levels of tooth decay than children living in suburban areas in the United States, despite the fact that people in the Himalayan mountain region in Nepal receive little to no professional dental care, while people in suburban areas in the United States see a dentist an average of 1.25 times per year. Thus, regular dental care is not helpful in preventing tooth decay.
The prompt suggests that the author of this passage is convinced that regular dental care is ineffective in preventive the decaying of tooth. He based his conclusion on the premise of comparing scenarios from two distinct regions of earth. However, there could be some alternative explanations for this claim.
First of all, the author is assuming that the Himalayan mountain regions of Nepal and the suburban areas of The United States are roughly comparable. These two places are very different in their geographical aspect and almost situated at different ends of the planet. When comparing people from two such places on some particular phenomenon like tooth decay, some factors need to be taken into consideration such as the food habits of the place i.e. food types, eating cycle, major ingredient in the diet etc. For example, people in Nepal might leave very healthy life where they take organic food rich in natural fibers, whereas people in the United States might take a sugar-rich diet. Sugar is a bad ingredient for the health especially the teeth. If the people of the states frequently feast on chocolates and candies and the Nepalis do not, the first group is more likely to fall prone to tooth problem. So, If this holds truth, then despite going to the dentist, the people from the United States can have detrimental effect on their teeth.
Secondly, the prompt only talks about the children. The author assumed that just because the children of this two places behave this way, so would the adults. Well, what if adults and children function differently in their bodily mechanism? What the adults can take, children can not. Maybe the adults in the state are very health conscious about their teeth and the adults from Nepal frequently have beetle-nut, smoking and this sort of addiction. For this case, the tooth decay among adults in the Nepali region would be greater. So judging two different areas only based on their children's data does not seem to hold water when we are talking about the overall country.
Thirdly, the author assumes that going to the dentist necessarily means that someone will have good teeth. Well, what if a person went to the dentist and got his gums cleaned and after that he did not take a very good care of his teeth? Maybe he did not brush or floss properly. So, in this case, would going to the doctor ensure the prevention of this tooth decay? Maybe the people in Nepal take good care of their teeth and use natural and organic products, whereas in America people think that going to the dentist is everything for them and they do not have to do anything afterwards. If this scenario holds merit then the argument here falls apart.
In conclusion, the author's reasoning stands faulty based on the evidence he presented. There are lots of unwarranted assumptions and the logical coherence among the ideas is thinning. So, the author needs to explore these alternate explanations and prove more substantial evidence for his claim.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 507 350
No. of Characters: 2426 1500
No. of Different Words: 242 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.745 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.785 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.352 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 156 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 106 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 67 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.28 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.926 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.68 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.268 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.489 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.112 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 401, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nd the adults from Nepal frequently have beetle-nut, smoking and this sort of add...
^^
Line 13, column 304, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'go'
Suggestion: go
...floss properly. So, in this case, would going to the doctor ensure the prevention of ...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 590, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... do not have to do anything afterwards. If this scenario holds merit then the argu...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, well, whereas, for example, in conclusion, sort of, such as, talking about, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2497.0 2260.96107784 110% => OK
No of words: 507.0 441.139720559 115% => OK
Chars per words: 4.92504930966 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.74517233601 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.40660586037 2.78398813304 86% => OK
Unique words: 244.0 204.123752495 120% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.481262327416 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 756.0 705.55239521 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 50.1918950764 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.0384615385 119.503703932 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.5 23.324526521 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.03846153846 5.70786347227 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.171268073305 0.218282227539 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.046606025196 0.0743258471296 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0600114387809 0.0701772020484 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0825827798893 0.128457276422 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0594989791302 0.0628817314937 95% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.5 14.3799401198 80% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.31 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.0 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 110.0 98.500998004 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.