A recent study indicates that children living in the Himalayan mountain region in Nepal have lower levels of tooth decay than children living in suburban areas in the United States, despite the fact that people in the Himalayan mountain region in Nepal receive little to no professional dental care, while people in suburban areas in the United States see a dentist an average of 1.25 times per year. Thus, regular dental care is not helpful in preventing tooth decay.
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Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
When looking at the recent study on the tooth decay issue among children living in different areas of the world, it is interesting that children living in the mountain regions have lower levels of tooth decays compared to the children living in suburban areas. In fact, the people in the Himalayan mountain region don't have access to professional dental care like those in suburban areas do. With the findings provided by the study, the author of the argument concluded that dental care does not help in preventing tooth decay. I believe that the argument is flawed and there are other explanations that could lead to the children in Nepal having lower levels of tooth decay.
First of all, one of the biggest issue people who live in suburban areas in the United States are suffering from is the amount of sweets and processed foods they're exposed to. Sweets and processed foods are two of the major contributors to tooth decay, especially in children. Although some may argue that parents make sure children brush their teeth before going to bed, it is not enough to completely prevent tooth decay since the chemicals or substances may till be lingering on one's teeth. In stark contrast to the children who are exposed to sweets and processed foods, the children living in mountain regions may not be exposed to those on the daily basis and are limited to the amount they could receive. Considering that, it is natural that the children living in the Himalayan mountain region, even with little to no professional dental care, have lower levels of tooth decay compared to those living in suburban areas in the United States. Therefore, the type of food intake may be play a bigger role in preventing tooth decay than regular dental care.
Secondly, another explanation that could be valid and debunk the proposed argument is that the nutrients received by the children living in nature may be different than those living in suburban areas in the United States. For example, the amount of calcium, vitamin D, vitamin A, and more, may be more significant provided by the animals, plants, and environment in the mountain region. Investigating in this area would bring additional insights to further understand the causes and preventions of tooth decay.
In conclusion, although the argument is supported by the facts from a recent study, the conclusion is not complete and is lacking other explanations. By considering the food intake and nutrient levels received by the children living in the mountain regions, one might be able to explain why those children have lower levels of tooth decay than those living in suburban areas. It is not entirely related to the frequency of dental care, but more about the causes of tooth decay.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 462 350
No. of Characters: 2231 1500
No. of Different Words: 185 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.636 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.829 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.481 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 161 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 106 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.875 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.717 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.405 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.553 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.088 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 315, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...people in the Himalayan mountain region dont have access to professional dental care...
^^^^
Line 3, column 158, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: they're
...he amount of sweets and processed foods theyre exposed to. Sweets and processed foods ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 165, Rule ID: RATHER_THEN[2]
Message: Did you mean 'different 'from''? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
Suggestion: from
...ldren living in nature may be different than those living in suburban areas in the U...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, for example, in conclusion, in fact, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 78.0 55.5748502994 140% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2280.0 2260.96107784 101% => OK
No of words: 460.0 441.139720559 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.95652173913 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.6311565067 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50988216987 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.426086956522 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 707.4 705.55239521 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 51.0061270829 57.8364921388 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 142.5 119.503703932 119% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.75 23.324526521 123% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.8125 5.70786347227 119% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.501923006753 0.218282227539 230% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.17260533084 0.0743258471296 232% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.135215955041 0.0701772020484 193% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.338989400088 0.128457276422 264% => Maybe some contents are duplicated.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.122268828475 0.0628817314937 194% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.3 14.3799401198 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 48.3550499002 107% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.08 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.05 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.