A recent study indicates that children living in the Himalayan mountain region in Nepal have lower levels of tooth decay than children living in suburban areas in the United States, despite the fact that people in the Himalayan mountain region in Nepal receive little to no professional dental care, while people in suburban areas in the United States see a dentist an average of 1.25 times per year. Thus, regular dental care is not helpful in preventing tooth decay.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The argument here is based on a study that juxtaposes dental issues of children residing in Himalayan mountain regions of Nepal and that of children in suburbs of the US. While the evidence presented is not to be doubted here but rather the hypothesis drawn is of dubious authenticity which lacks sufficient data to bolster it. The contrast in the issue of tooth decay among United States children and that of children in Nepal seems to be lacking a causation: the cause of tooth decay might not be evident or even present in Nepal.
The alternative explanation of the statistics can be derived as: relying only on regular dental care by visiting dentists will not suffice the problem of tooth decay - rather preventive measures should be embellished for successfully eradicating tooth decay problems. As the children are residing in the mountain regions, they might be exposed to substance or food items that can cause serious tooth decay issues. Rather these substance are more evident in suburbs and more popular among the children in suburbs. As the suburbs of the US have enormous amounts of food chain stores and candy store and other such store which lure these children in consuming excess amount of such products, eventually causing dental issues. Therefore, even after regular dental care and doctor's visits, the problem is flourishing.
On the contrary, the children in Nepal, having not being exposed to such products in abundance and thus them relying on natural care of their teeth would support the alternative explanation. As the they are using more natural and organic products for their dental problems, they might be able to prevent the damage in a better fashion. The regular use of organic products to clean their teeth prevents them from visiting dentists as frequently as children in the US.
While the facts and study presented in the argument is of a major interest along with a concern of the parents and citizens of United States, the conclusion derived by the author seems to be demanding more evidence to prove true. The alternative presented in the essay is rather more convincing and agreeable considering only the facts in from the study.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 362 350
No. of Characters: 1782 1500
No. of Different Words: 157 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.362 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.923 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.546 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 130 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 67 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.846 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.493 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.308 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.375 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.596 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.131 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 415, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Rather,
...t can cause serious tooth decay issues. Rather these substance are more evident in sub...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 422, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this substance' or 'these substances'?
Suggestion: this substance; these substances
...ause serious tooth decay issues. Rather these substance are more evident in suburbs and more po...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 814, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ors visits, the problem is flourishing. On the contrary, the children in Nepal, ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 195, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'the' or 'they'?
Suggestion: the; they
...support the alternative explanation. As the they are using more natural and organic prod...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, then, therefore, thus, while, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 18.0 28.8173652695 62% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1823.0 2260.96107784 81% => OK
No of words: 362.0 441.139720559 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.03591160221 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.36191444098 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.59248995785 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 166.0 204.123752495 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.458563535912 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 568.8 705.55239521 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.1477108093 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 140.230769231 119.503703932 117% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.8461538462 23.324526521 119% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.84615384615 5.70786347227 67% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.212155955587 0.218282227539 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0808563861708 0.0743258471296 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0917085737314 0.0701772020484 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.129423338042 0.128457276422 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0890923241607 0.0628817314937 142% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.2 14.3799401198 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 48.3550499002 91% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.25 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.86 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.