"A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than 6 hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. These results suggest that if a business wants to prosper, it should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
In the preceding argument, the author claims that the shorter amount of sleep the advertising executives have may have an impact on the profit and growth of the company. A study was conducted rating 300 male and female Mentian adverting executives, which showed an association between the amount of sleep and the profit the company receives. At first glance, the argument appears reliable, however it needs more evidence to support its claim.
First, the author neglects having supporting evidence for the claim. For one to state that the amount of sleep the employees have each night is correlated to the success of the firm, the author needs to conduct research on the sleeping habits of the individuals at the firm. For instance, the author should not only look at the amount of sleep the individual gets, but also needs to factor in their age, gender, and how long they have been an executive. By having this data, it will show if the performance at the firm is truly due to the amount of sleep they are getting or if it is due to other factors, such as experience or age.
Furthermore, the argument fails to mention if the employees who reported not needing more than 6 hours of sleep at night are the ones who are excelling and making the success at the firm. For the author to make the claim, they need to demonstrate which employees are succeeding at the firm, without this information, it leaves the reader questioning who is actually bringing in the higher profit margins and facilitates the company's fast growth.
Finally, the recommendation to hire people based on the hours of sleep they get, fails to notice what other attributes they might obtain that facilitate them to excel as a executive, which would benefit the company more than how they operate with a certain number of hours of sleep each night. Although this relationship is revealed by the study, it would be beneficial for the company to hire fast-paced and determined employees, who will complete the work in a more timely manner over those who operate well on few hours of sleep.
In conclusion, the argument that the company should hire people who need less than 6 hours of sleep to foster the business prospering appears to be reliable from a distance. However, when one looks at it more closely, they can see that the argument is flawed and fails to address key factors such as the ones stated above. For the argument to make this claim, there needs to be more research in place that has supporting evidence, it needs to address which employees work well with less sleep and take other factors that they employee has into consideration, and it must notice other attributes that will encourage one to excel as an executive.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
1. the arguments are not exactly right on the topic.
2. the conclusion is too long.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 470 350
No. of Characters: 2190 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.656 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.66 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.459 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 143 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 33.571 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.58 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.857 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.403 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.403 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.16 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 119, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t, fails to notice what other attributes they might obtain that facilitate them t...
^^
Line 4, column 172, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...obtain that facilitate them to excel as a executive, which would benefit the comp...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, first, furthermore, however, if, look, may, so, well, for instance, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 55.5748502994 113% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2240.0 2260.96107784 99% => OK
No of words: 470.0 441.139720559 107% => OK
Chars per words: 4.76595744681 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65612321451 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53878916613 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 204.123752495 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.448936170213 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 688.5 705.55239521 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 33.0 22.8473053892 144% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 66.0513483 57.8364921388 114% => OK
Chars per sentence: 160.0 119.503703932 134% => OK
Words per sentence: 33.5714285714 23.324526521 144% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.57142857143 5.70786347227 150% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.270819283149 0.218282227539 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.106280253025 0.0743258471296 143% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0848894332652 0.0701772020484 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.162558607413 0.128457276422 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0763468453237 0.0628817314937 121% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.8 14.3799401198 124% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.44 48.3550499002 96% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 12.197005988 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.98 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.4 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.2 11.1389221557 136% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.