A recent survey of 250 adults between the ages of 30 and 45 showed an association between the number of hours adults spend online each day and self-reporting of symptoms commonly associated with depression. The survey found that adults who spend 30 hours or more online each week were twice as likely as others to report that they “frequently” had trouble concentrating. Of adults who reported spending more than 30 hours per week online, 20 percent also reported that they had felt “sad, down, or blue” at least three times within the past month.
These results suggest that spending too much time online is linked with depression, and people who want to improve their well-being should strictly limit the time they spend online.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The study suggest that people who want to improve their well-being should strictly limit the time they spend online, building on the implication that spending too much time online is linked to depression. While this statement seems plausible, the survey which this statement build on is erratic, and to be more reliable it should answer some critical questions.
First, the author posed that the survey include 250 adults between 30 an d 45. What was the sample selecting criteria? What are the mental and medical history of these adults? Did they experience depression before spending time online?. Most importantly, what are their lives condition such as; financial status, family, social life?. All these questions, if they are answered efficiently, will strengthen and validate the survey sample, and prove it to be representative.
Second, the author stated that adults who spend 30 hours or more online each week were twice as likely as others to report frequent concentrating troubles. While these results may seems critical, but the author failed to submit more empirical data to prove his results. Many questions would need to be answered to decide the validity of the data such as; how many adults who participated in this survey spend 30 hours or more weekly? What are the survey method? were the adults asked to answer questions or just report troubles?. Survey methods is vital to decide the liability of the survey. For example, adults might be persuaded to give specific answers, or might be misguided with vague questions.
Furthermore, the percentage of 20% of these adults might not be representative, the author gave an fallacious conclusion without giving a clear empirical data. For instant, if 50 people reported having frequent trouble, it is 10 persons who reported that they have felt down and blue. Most important, was there any surrounding conditions which might led them to feel sad?. The author may use the answer to these questions to build more cogent case.
In conclusion, while this argument is rife with wholes and presumptions, more researches should be carried out in order to analyze the effects of spending too much time online on our health.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not exactly. better to say: it works for those adults who between 30 and 45, but it doesn't mean it works for all ages. Basically adults between 30 and 45 are those with big workloads. second, the sample is relatively small: 250 adults.
argument 2 -- not OK. better to say: people had trouble concentrating in survey may work in data center, or other online jobs...
argument 3 -- not exactly, better to say: those 20% people may have a history of depression or other issues; second, it is 'within the past month'. maybe next month, they are simply fine.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 357 350
No. of Characters: 1772 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.347 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.964 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.52 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 136 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.789 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.77 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.632 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.524 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.055 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 11, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'suggests'.
Suggestion: suggests
The study suggest that people who want to improve their w...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 71, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...he survey include 250 adults between 30 an d 45. What was the sample selecting cri...
^^
Line 5, column 463, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Were
...ore weekly? What are the survey method? were the adults asked to answer questions or...
^^^^
Line 7, column 97, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
... not be representative, the author gave an fallacious conclusion without giving a ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, if, may, second, so, then, well, while, for example, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 55.5748502994 63% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1840.0 2260.96107784 81% => OK
No of words: 357.0 441.139720559 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.15406162465 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34677393335 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64711069562 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 198.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.554621848739 0.468620217663 118% => OK
syllable_count: 549.9 705.55239521 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 49.9392380799 57.8364921388 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.0 119.503703932 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.85 23.324526521 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.70786347227 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.281685208005 0.218282227539 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0875908935583 0.0743258471296 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0908775700321 0.0701772020484 129% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.143673574969 0.128457276422 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0904919910368 0.0628817314937 144% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 14.3799401198 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 48.3550499002 130% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.197005988 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.29 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.73 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 98.500998004 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 12.3882235529 52% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.