Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades, food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author claims that with the new use of salicylates as preservatives a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia can be expected. To bolster this claim author has put forward some of the findings of their recent twenty-year study. One of them is rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches. Second one is that salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to tread headaches. However, author has based his conclusion on some of the unwarranted assumptions which if not substantiated, will dramatically weaken the argument.
Firstly, their is no mention of the authenticity of the survey. It is not clearly stated that how many people have been included in the survey or people of which region have been included in the survey. For instance, there might have been 100,000 people in a city and the study was conducted only on 100 individuals. Since body and health difers from person to person, generalization shouldn't be drawn from the study conducted only small subset of entire population. Even if their studied included all the people from a particular, still it couldn't be used to generalize the effect of salicylates on people throught world as people physical traits may change from place to place. Hence, if authenticity of survey is not clearly stated it will significantly weaken the argument.
Secondly, the author correlates the rise in the commercial use of salicylates to the steady decline in the average number of headaches. However, salicylates is not only deciding factor of one's headache. It is possible that the people's life style has changed over the course of 20 years dramatically which contributed to their overall good health. For instance, 20 years ago the city might have been extremely polluted because of which headache inducing pollutants might have been at peak level. Because of this headache causing pollutants people might have suffered from frequent headaches. Over the course of 20 years stringent measures were taken to reduce the pollution which in turn reduced headache causing pollutants and headaches. Hence, if this correaltion between salicylates and decline in headaches is not supported with concrete evidence will weaken the argument.
Finally, the author assumes that mixing the salicylates as flavor additives for food won't have any long term effects. It is stated that it was only recently the food companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for food. If companies start to sell saliyclates as flavor additives it may lead to excessive consumption of salicylates whose long term effects are unknown. Hence, the author needs to provide some strong research evidence which will reveal the long term effects of the salicylates.
In the conclusion, the author's claim of salicylates contributed to steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by people can only be verified when author is able to provide some concrete evidence to prove above stated assumptions.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 509 350
No. of Characters: 2573 1500
No. of Different Words: 213 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.75 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.055 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.743 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 200 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 139 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 101 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 63 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.13 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.765 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.609 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.324 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.53 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.124 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 231, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...lster this claim author has put forward some of the findings of their recent twenty-year st...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 593, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...ver, author has based his conclusion on some of the unwarranted assumptions which if not su...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 635, Rule ID: IF_IS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'is'?
Suggestion: is
...me of the unwarranted assumptions which if not substantiated, will dramatically we...
^^
Line 3, column 10, Rule ID: THEIR_IS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'there'?
Suggestion: there
...ically weaken the argument. Firstly, their is no mention of the authenticity of th...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 385, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: shouldn't
...s from person to person, generalization shouldnt be drawn from the study conducted only ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 542, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
... the people from a particular, still it couldnt be used to generalize the effect of sal...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 189, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...icylates is not only deciding factor of ones headache. It is possible that the peopl...
^^^^
Line 5, column 228, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'peoples'' or 'people's'?
Suggestion: peoples'; people's
... ones headache. It is possible that the peoples life style has changed over the course ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 496, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...llutants might have been at peak level. Because of this headache causing pollutants peo...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, hence, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, still, then, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 73.0 55.5748502994 131% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2623.0 2260.96107784 116% => OK
No of words: 506.0 441.139720559 115% => OK
Chars per words: 5.1837944664 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7428307748 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82068986292 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 216.0 204.123752495 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.426877470356 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 839.7 705.55239521 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.0175182409 57.8364921388 67% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.043478261 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.69565217391 5.70786347227 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.253680079441 0.218282227539 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0809382121393 0.0743258471296 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0901216189129 0.0701772020484 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.139274387821 0.128457276422 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.067476740999 0.0628817314937 107% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 48.3550499002 84% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.76 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.0 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 98.500998004 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.