SuperCorp recently moved its headquarters to Corporateville. The recent surge in the number of homeowners in Corporateville proves that Corporateville is a superior place to live than Middlesburg, the home of SuperCorp's current headquarters. Moreover, Middlesburg is a predominately urban area and according to an employee survey, SuperCorp has determined that its workers prefer to live in an area that is not urban. Finally, Corporateville has lower taxes than Middlesburg, making it not only a safer place to work but also a cheaper one. Therefore, Supercorp clearly made the best decision.
The decision of supercorp to move its headquarters to Corporateville might be good but the assumptions on which it is based are flawed at many places.
The author assumes that increase in the number of homeowners at a place makes it superior to any other place where surge is not observed. But, we cannot neglect the idea behind what is causing this increase. It may be because this is a place where new constructions are happening and is a place which is, in its developing phase and might have good future prospects because of which people are buying homes, or it maybe because compared to all other posh places this place provides a more pocket friendly scenario. It might be, all the other places have huge population and do not have place for new people buying new properties at that point of time. We could have agreed to the authors view of Corporateville being more superior if we had more evidences in terms of facilities and assets provided by this place.
Moreover, the argument is built upon an employee survey which concludes that workers have a preference to live in areas which are not urban. The workers would want to live at more affordable places and hence may definitely choose a cheaper place to live. But, the authenticity of this survey is questionable as we are not told whether this survey covered all the employees or was it just one employee upon whose opinion the decision was made. Had it been known that what kind of questions were covered and how many employees were actually involved in this, would this survey succeed to strenghten the argument.
Also, the author builds on the fact clearly that since this place has a lower tax than their earlier place it would make this place a cheaper place as well as a safe place to live in. Though, finding a cheaper and a safe place, sure, supports the author's claim, but we do not know how much were the taxes at Middlesburg and how much lower were the taxes at Corporateville. It might be the case that only relative to the taxes imposed in Middlesburg, this place had a little lower rate but actually this number was big. In that case it wouldn't make this place cheaper to live. Another thing is that this place is said to be safer but no such statement by the author backs it for us to believe that it was really a very safe place to move to.
The argument, is thus, based on several unwarranted assumptions which makes it difficult to build a convincing case. If the assumptions were supported by more data and facts we could have agreed that SuperCorp indeed made the best decision.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK. The survey is only about where to live, not where to work. If the survey was about a working place, the result might be different. Workers might want their headquarters to be placed at urban because they can commute using public transportations, or other firms, which they interact with, might be concentrated in urban area, and et cetera.
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 460 350
No. of Characters: 2068 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.631 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.496 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.474 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 117 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.059 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.735 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.824 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.344 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.59 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.159 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 152, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... it is based are flawed at many places. The author assumes that increase in the ...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 815, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ties and assets provided by this place. Moreover, the argument is built upon an ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 612, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...vey succeed to strenghten the argument. Also, the author builds on the fact clea...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 536, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
...ly this number was big. In that case it wouldnt make this place cheaper to live. Anothe...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 742, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...as really a very safe place to move to. The argument, is thus, based on several ...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, hence, if, may, moreover, really, so, then, thus, well, another thing, kind of, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.6327345309 163% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 28.8173652695 163% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 49.0 55.5748502994 88% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2115.0 2260.96107784 94% => OK
No of words: 459.0 441.139720559 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.60784313725 5.12650576532 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62863751936 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50676861968 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 208.0 204.123752495 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.453159041394 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 675.9 705.55239521 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.1259520574 57.8364921388 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.411764706 119.503703932 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.0 23.324526521 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.52941176471 5.70786347227 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.166137864615 0.218282227539 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0634196274041 0.0743258471296 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0522405087372 0.0701772020484 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.10160827811 0.128457276422 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0557400655263 0.0628817314937 89% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 14.3799401198 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.53 48.3550499002 109% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 12.197005988 103% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.75 12.5979740519 77% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.76 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 98.500998004 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.