A ten-year nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago, approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets, whereas today that number is nearly 80 percent. Another study, however, suggests that during the same ten-year period, the number of bicycle-related accidents has increased 200 percent. These results demonstrate that bicyclists feel safer because they are wearing helmets, and they take more risks as a result. Thus, to reduce the number of serious injuries from bicycle accidents, the government should concentrate more on educating people about bicycle safety and less on encouraging or requiring bicyclists to wear helmets.
The author of this memo states that a ten-year nationwide study of effectiveness of helmet among bicyclist indicates that 35 percent of all bicyclists reporting hamlet, whereas the number is approximately 80 percent. The author fails to consider the total number of all bicyclists in ten years ago and now. It is possible that in comparison with ten years ago population of city was increased the number is less than that time. To strengthen this statement, the writer should provide more information about number of bicyclist in both times to make clear explanation.
Secondly, the author's argument is based on a shaky explanation that in comparison to ten years ago the number of bicycle-related to the accidents has doubled since the bicyclist wearing helmet take more risks because they believe helmet is safe. The author overlooks the possibility that 200 percent is related to other alternative explanation. Perhaps the condition and situation like conditions on the road are unsuitable to drive bicycle since the number of bicycle-related accidents were escalated. Or maybe other cars and vehicle were on blame to make accident. Thus, such kind a data will be reliable if the author provides more categorical evidence about other affecting factors in the reported accidents.
Thirdly, the writer suggests that to reduce the number of accident the government should concentrate on educated people and less on fostering bicyclists to wear helmets. It is plausible to consider that some accident are not willingly since education people no longer guarantee the safety of bicyclists in the roads. The government must give priority to advertise helmets among bicyclists to impede accident. The argument must provide some other variables affecting this statement to make clear pictures of both roads and bicyclist.
All in all, based on unsubstantiated assumptions and poor evidence, the author ‘reasoning does not provide concrete evidence to support his conclusion. Had these details been mentioned along with supporting evidence, it would have been more convincing and thorough.
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- partly OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 326 350
No. of Characters: 1731 1500
No. of Different Words: 168 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.249 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.31 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.892 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 131 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 104 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 83 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 58 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.733 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.169 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.267 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.348 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.567 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.085 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5