"A ten-year nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago, approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets, whereas today that number is nearly 80 percent. Another study, ho

Above argument appeared in a health newsletter stating that the inorder to trifle the number of serious injuries from bicycles accidents, the government should concentrate more on educating the people about bicycle safety rather than encouraging to wear helmets. The above conclusion might sounds relevent but is actually based on the unwarrant assumptions.
However, the conclusion can be undergrid if the answers to these questions are justified.

Firstly, the newsletter mentions about approximately 35 percent of the bicyclist wear helmet and after 10 years, it increased to 80 percent.out of what number where they considered with? There isn`t concrete data about what was the exact number of the bicyclist before ten years . And after 10 years too, the concrete data of the total number of bicyclist is not given. Before ten years, might be the population was less and the number of bicyclist was also less. Consider out of 100 people riding bicycle , 35 wore helmet. And after 10 years, the nmber of people riding bicycle might have reduced and reached 40. And 80 percent of 40 is 32 which is less than the previous year. So, if these evidence holds true then the conclusion is weakend.

Secondly, about the number of accidents that has increased to 200 percent , this again seems to lack the concrete data about the total number of the accidents ten years ago and after 10 years today. What was the number of accidents 10 years agon? on what basis are they comparing the accident percent without knowing the root of the number of the accidents? And they are mentioning about the people`s attitude as they feel more safer while wearing a helment and are ready to take the risk. People don`t invite for accident`s knowingly. Moreover,they should have atleast mentioned about those numbers. After a ten years period the number of population might have increased and that might have resulted in the increase in percent of the accidents. If the ratio are compared then , the ratio might be less with respect to the number of increasing population. If these evidences are correct then the conclusion holds no water.

Further, about the role of goverment to concentrate on educating about the bicycle safety, Wearing helmet too falls on that part and these are the minute details, they have to take care while riding a bicycle. How can they suggest government to focus less on such paramount factor that results in serious accidents as aour brain is the most sensitive part of our body. Nodoubt, the people should be educated about the bicycle safety. But less encouragement on wearing helmet sound irrelevent.

In sum, before reaching any conclusion without the warrant evidence and concrete data, the problems must be carefully scrutinized so that the conclusion could be bolstered without any vault in it.

Votes
Average: 3.3 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 27, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Above argument appeared in a health newsletter stating that the ino...
^^
Line 1, column 248, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'wearing'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'encourage' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: wearing
... bicycle safety rather than encouraging to wear helmets. The above conclusion might sou...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 9, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...se questions are justified. Firstly, the newsletter mentions about approxima...
^^
Line 4, column 40, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... Firstly, the newsletter mentions about approximately 35 percent of the bicyclis...
^^
Line 4, column 95, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... 35 percent of the bicyclist wear helmet and after 10 years, it increased to 80 p...
^^
Line 4, column 288, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...number of the bicyclist before ten years . And after 10 years too, the concrete da...
^^
Line 4, column 515, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...onsider out of 100 people riding bicycle , 35 wore helmet. And after 10 years, the...
^^
Line 4, column 689, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[4]
Message: “So , if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...2 which is less than the previous year. So, if these evidence holds true then the conc...
^^^^^^
Line 6, column 74, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...idents that has increased to 200 percent , this again seems to lack the concrete d...
^^
Line 6, column 248, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: On
... the number of accidents 10 years agon? on what basis are they comparing the accid...
^^
Line 6, column 429, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'safer' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: safer
...the people's attitude as they feel more safer while wearing a helment and are ready t...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 560, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , they
... for accident's knowingly. Moreover,they should have atleast mentioned about tho...
^^^^^
Line 6, column 692, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r of population might have increased and that might have resulted in the increase...
^^
Line 6, column 794, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ccidents. If the ratio are compared then , the ratio might be less with respect t...
^^
Line 6, column 820, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... compared then , the ratio might be less with respect to the number of increasing...
^^
Line 6, column 875, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...to the number of increasing population. If these evidences are correct then the co...
^^
Line 8, column 494, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ent on wearing helmet sound irrelevent. In sum, before reaching any conclusion w...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, firstly, however, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, while, with respect to

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 70.0 55.5748502994 126% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2373.0 2260.96107784 105% => OK
No of words: 466.0 441.139720559 106% => OK
Chars per words: 5.09227467811 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64618479453 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6549619577 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 204.123752495 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.459227467811 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 721.8 705.55239521 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 9.0 4.22255489022 213% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 57.7666201192 57.8364921388 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.92 119.503703932 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.64 23.324526521 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.4 5.70786347227 77% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 17.0 5.25449101796 324% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.245536864816 0.218282227539 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0724595928052 0.0743258471296 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0698484528876 0.0701772020484 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.103351069457 0.128457276422 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0955190356162 0.0628817314937 152% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.24 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.19 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 108.0 98.500998004 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 467 350
No. of Characters: 2287 1500
No. of Different Words: 207 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.649 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.897 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.483 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 161 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 121 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 80 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.458 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.548 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.542 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.309 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.493 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.087 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5