Ten years ago our company had two new office buildings constructed as regional headquarters for two regions. The buildings were erected by different construction companies—Alpha and Zeta. Although the two buildings had identical floor plans, the building constructed by Zeta cost 30 percent more to build. However, that building's expenses for maintenance last year were only half those of Alpha's. Furthermore, the energy consumption of the Zeta building has been lower than that of the Alpha building every year since its construction. Such data indicate that we should use Zeta rather than Alpha for our contemplated new building project, even though Alpha's bid promises lower construction costs.
The author in the memo recommended to give the contract of new building construction of their company to Zeta rather than Alpha. The author came to this conclusion on the basis of the facts like building built by Zeta has low maintenance than Alpha in last years and the energy consumption of the building built by Zeta has been lower than Alpha. The argument at first look seams feasible and valid, however on scrutiny, one can easily argue that apparently, argument is ill considered and full of flaws.
Firstly, both building was built at different region which has different weather condition, but the author didn’t mentioned about any natural cause that are effecting the building which can impact the building construction and can rise the maintenance cost of building built by Alpha. Author also, didn’t mentioned the usage of both the offices it can be possible that building built by Zeta being used by fewer employees than building built by Alpha which can result on lower maintenance cost of building.
Secondly, the author has only compared the maintenance cost of building of the last year since it was built 10 years ago. Author didn’t provided us with the data of remaining year and it can be possible that since last year both building maintenance cost were mostly same or would be inverse as of last year. It can also possible that there may be some natural calamity that causes an increase in maintenance cost of one region.
Thirdly, author had mentioned about the electricity consumption of both the building but didn’t mentioned about the usage of the electric resources in both the building. It can possible that building built by Alpha has more employee than building built by Zeta and the usage of electrical equipment in that building could be less than by Alpha which can result on high electricity consumption at one building than other. Also, the electricity consumption of the building didn’t have any relation with the quality of construction. So, the author’s assumption that building with low energy consumption has higher quality of construction is hard to be asserted.
Finally, the author had only stated that building build by Zeta is 30% more costly than building built by Alpha but the total cost of the construction isn’t mentioned by the author, Also how much increase in the maintenance and electricity consumption isn’t described explicitly by the author. So, it can be possible that the maintenance cost and electricity consumption with construction cost of one building is still lower than the other building total cost occurred till now.
In conclusion, the author’s suggestion to go with the Zeta for the construction of new building rather than Alpha is full of questions which author fails to assert with the presented facts. The author can strengthen the argument if the facts like the region in which the two offices was build, the number of employee working their, how much total cost both building had occurred till now and are their any natural cause effecting building are provided.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 11 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 514 350
No. of Characters: 2485 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.761 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.835 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.634 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 153 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 123 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 108 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 32.125 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.185 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.473 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.695 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.201 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 348, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...uilt by Zeta has been lower than Alpha. The argument at first look seams feasible a...
^^^
Line 3, column 115, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[4]
Message: The verb 'didn't' requires base form of this verb: 'mention'
Suggestion: mention
...eather condition, but the author didn’t mentioned about any natural cause that are effect...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 306, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[4]
Message: The verb 'didn't' requires base form of this verb: 'mention'
Suggestion: mention
...ing built by Alpha. Author also, didn’t mentioned the usage of both the offices it can be...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 137, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[4]
Message: The verb 'didn't' requires base form of this verb: 'provide'
Suggestion: provide
...t was built 10 years ago. Author didn’t provided us with the data of remaining year and ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 97, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[4]
Message: The verb 'didn't' requires base form of this verb: 'mention'
Suggestion: mention
...umption of both the building but didn’t mentioned about the usage of the electric resourc...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, apparently, but, finally, first, firstly, however, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, still, then, third, thirdly, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 73.0 55.5748502994 131% => OK
Nominalization: 30.0 16.3942115768 183% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2565.0 2260.96107784 113% => OK
No of words: 507.0 441.139720559 115% => OK
Chars per words: 5.05917159763 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.74517233601 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67867381862 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 178.0 204.123752495 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.351084812623 0.468620217663 75% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 757.8 705.55239521 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 31.0 22.8473053892 136% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 59.3726315317 57.8364921388 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 160.3125 119.503703932 134% => OK
Words per sentence: 31.6875 23.324526521 136% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.5 5.70786347227 149% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.337108115142 0.218282227539 154% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.14724945927 0.0743258471296 198% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0747992455891 0.0701772020484 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.217094690759 0.128457276422 169% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0506716452289 0.0628817314937 81% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.2 14.3799401198 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.47 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.197005988 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.66 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.57 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 98.500998004 78% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.4 11.1389221557 129% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.