Of the two leading real estate firms in our town - Adams Reality and Fitch Reality - Adams Reality is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents; in contrast, Fitch Reality has 25 many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago I listed my home with Fitch, and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home at a good price, you should use Adams Reality.
The author has stated that if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price then you should use Adams Reality firm. The author also compares about the revenue of the two real estate firms in the town and gives his own personal experience with both the firms. At first this argument seems to be convincing but further reflection reveals that it has a lot of flaws and assumptions which have been neglected for drawing the conclusion.
Firstly, the author gives us the information about the last year's revenues of each firm. Based on the revenues of the firms, the author gives his view on which firm is superior. Here, the author has simply assumed that the revenue is the only aspect which decides which firm is better. It may happen that Fitch reality firm may sell homes which have a very high price and thus many people may not afford it. And at the same time Adams reality firm could sell houses which are affordable to most of the people living in that town and thus, this firm sells more houses as compared to Fitch reality firm. Thus, the author has provided us with less information regarding the firms and this may lead to invalid conclusions.
Furthermore, the author tells us that he/she had listed a house with Fitch ten years ago and it took more than four months to sell it whereas, he/she had listed a house with Adams this past year and it took only a month for the house to be sold. The author talks about his/her experiences but one of which was ten years ago. This is a huge time span and the author has neglected this. The author has assumed the work rate and the efficiency of the Fitch firm is still the same as compared to that it was ten years ago. It could happen that the number of employees working in the Fitch firm now are more than the number of employees working in the firm ten years back. It could also happen that the efficiency of the employees working currently is much more then the efficiency of the employees who worked ten years back. If this is the case then there is a very high chance that the author could have sold his/her house in very less time. Thus, there are certain assumptions which are considered in stating that homes listed with Adams sell faster as compared to Fitch.
The author also talks about the home sales of both the firms and that shows us that Adams reality firm has more sales than Fitch reality. Here, the author has assumed that because the sales of Adams firm are high, it is better than Fitch. He/She clearly neglects other details about the house such as the area in which it is located, are there any daily household facilities available nearby and many such things. It could be that the houses listed in Adams firm are not that great. Their condition could be poor as a result of which their price is less. The town where this firm is located might now have many wealthy residents and maximum of the residents could be struggling financially. This may cause them to buy the homes listed in the Adams firm. Whereas on the other hand, the houses listed with Fitch firm may be costly and this may again cause the residents to buy houses with Adams if their financial condition is not strong enough. So these are certain holes and assumptions which the author has not looked upon and thus if they are taken into picture then the conclusion maybe different.
Thus, if the above listed flaws and assumptions are not taken into picture and are not considered then we cannot say that Adams firm is superior to Fitch. The author must consider all these cases and only then decide which firm is better.
Comments
e-rater score report
Sentence: The author talks about his/her experiences but one of which was ten years ago.
Description: A determiner, possessive is not usually followed by a preposition
Suggestion: Refer to his and /
Sentence: The author has assumed the work rate and the efficiency of the Fitch firm is still the same as compared to that it was ten years ago.
Description: The word that is not usually used as a WH-pronoun, accusative
Suggestion: Refer to that
Sentence: If this is the case then there is a very high chance that the author could have sold his/her house in very less time.
Description: A determiner, possessive is not usually followed by a preposition
Suggestion: Refer to his and /
Sentence: Thus, there are certain assumptions which are considered in stating that homes listed with Adams sell faster as compared to Fitch.
Description: The fragment Adams sell faster is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace sell with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Sentence: He/She clearly neglects other details about the house such as the area in which it is located, are there any daily household facilities available nearby and many such things.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to house and such
Sentence: So these are certain holes and assumptions which the author has not looked upon and thus if they are taken into picture then the conclusion maybe different.
Description: The tag a preposition is not usually followed by and
Suggestion: Refer to upon and and
Sentence: It may happen that Fitch reality firm may sell homes which have a very high price and thus many people may not afford it.
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Thus, the author has provided us with less information regarding the firms and this may lead to invalid conclusions.
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: This may cause them to buy the homes listed in the Adams firm.
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Whereas on the other hand, the houses listed with Fitch firm may be costly and this may again cause the residents to buy houses with Adams if their financial condition is not strong enough.
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
Read a good grammar book.
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Minimum four paragraphs wanted
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 657 350
No. of Characters: 2874 1500
No. of Different Words: 227 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.063 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.374 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.05 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 146 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 88 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 53 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.464 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.313 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.342 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.342 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.189 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 20, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ng the conclusion. Firstly, the author gives us the information about the last ...
^^
Line 3, column 758, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[2]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...mployees working currently is much more then the efficiency of the employees who wor...
^^^^
Line 3, column 1049, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[3]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...hat homes listed with Adams sell faster as compared to Fitch. The author also ...
^^
Line 3, column 1071, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...Adams sell faster as compared to Fitch. The author also talks about the home sal...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, furthermore, if, look, may, regarding, so, still, then, thus, whereas, such as, as a result, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 35.0 19.6327345309 178% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 11.1786427146 197% => OK
Relative clauses : 31.0 13.6137724551 228% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 66.0 28.8173652695 229% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2927.0 2260.96107784 129% => OK
No of words: 652.0 441.139720559 148% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.48926380368 5.12650576532 88% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.05314661074 4.56307096286 111% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.09756465126 2.78398813304 75% => OK
Unique words: 231.0 204.123752495 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.354294478528 0.468620217663 76% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 887.4 705.55239521 126% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 19.7664670659 142% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.7839081427 57.8364921388 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.535714286 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.2857142857 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.89285714286 5.70786347227 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.263116153124 0.218282227539 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0839725491165 0.0743258471296 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0627942570365 0.0701772020484 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.166666711469 0.128457276422 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0347076658884 0.0628817314937 55% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 14.3799401198 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 65.05 48.3550499002 135% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.06 12.5979740519 72% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.69 8.32208582834 80% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 98.500998004 80% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.