"Of the two leading real estate firms in our town---Adams Realty and Fitch Realty---Adams is
clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents. In contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom
work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch,
and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes
listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago, I listed my home with Fitch and it took
more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it
took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams."
The author of this argument claims that Adams Realty is superior to Fitch Realty. To support
this claim the author cites certain statistics about the number and working hours of the firm's
agents, and the number and sales prices of homes sold by the two firms. The author also
cites anecdotal evidence involving her own experience with Fitch and Adams. Close scrutiny of
this evidence reveals that it lends little credible support for the author's assertion.
The author bases her claim partly on the fact that Adams has more agents than Fitch, and
that many of Fitch's agents work only part-time. However, the author provides no evidence that
the quality of a real-estate firm is directly proportional to the number of its agents or the
number of hours per week that its agents work. Lacking such evidence, it is equally possible
that a smaller firm is more effective than a larger one, and that a part-time agent is more
effective than a full-time agent. Besides, the author does not provide any information about
how many Adams agents work part-time.
To further support her claim the author cites the fact that Adams sold more properties last
year than Fitch. However, the author overlooks the possibility that last year's sales volume
amounted to an aberration, and that in most other years Adams has actually sold fewer
properties than Fitch. Moreover, the disparity in sales volume can readily be explained by
factors other than the comparative quality of the two firms. Perhaps Adams serves a denser
geographic area, or an area where turnover in home-ownership is higher for reasons unrelated
to Adams' effectiveness. Or perhaps sales volume is higher at Adams simply because it
employs more agents, and each Adams agent actually sells fewer homes on average than
each Fitch agent does. Without ruling out such alternative explanations for the disparity in
sales volume, the author cannot defend the conclusion that based on this evidence that
Adams is superior to Fitch.
In further support of her claim the author points out that the average sales price of a home
sold by Adams is greater than the average price of a home sold by Fitch. However, this
evidence shows only that the homes that Adams sells are more valuable on average than the
ones that Fitch sells, not that Adams is more effective in selling homes than Fitch. Moreover, it
is possible that a few relatively high-priced or low-priced properties skewed these averages,
rendering any conclusions about the comparative quality of the two firms based on these
averages unfair.
For additional support the author points out that it took Fitch Realty considerable longer to
sell one of the author's homes than it took Adams Realty to sell another one of her homes ten
years earlier. However, this disparity is explainable by other plausible factors, such as
changing economic conditions during that ten-year period, or a difference in the desirability of
the two properties. Without establishing that all other factors affecting the speed of a sale were
essentially the same for the two homes, the author cannot rely on this limited anecdotal
evidence to support her claim.
In conclusion, the author's evidence lends little credible support to her claim. To persuade
me that Adams is better than Fitch, the author would need to provide clear evidence that
individual Adams agents are more effective in selling homes than individual Fitch agents, and
that the disparity in home sales and sales price is attributable to that difference. Finally, to
better evaluate the author's claim we would need more information comparing the percentage of agents working part-time at Fitch versus Adams. We would also need more information
about the comparative attractiveness of the author's two homes, and the extent to which the
residential real-estate market changed during the decade between the sale of these two
homes.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 13 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 638 350
No. of Characters: 3188 1500
No. of Different Words: 222 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.026 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.997 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.521 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 222 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 156 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 105 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 67 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.583 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.371 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.393 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.582 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.207 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 93, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... is superior to Fitch Realty. To support this claim the author cites certain stat...
^^^
Line 3, column 88, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s sold by the two firms. The author also cites anecdotal evidence involving her o...
^^^
Line 4, column 77, Rule ID: CLOSE_SCRUTINY[1]
Message: Use simply 'scrutiny'.
Suggestion: Scrutiny
...er own experience with Fitch and Adams. Close scrutiny of this evidence reveals that it lend...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 94, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... with Fitch and Adams. Close scrutiny of this evidence reveals that it lends litt...
^^^
Line 5, column 69, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...t lends little credible support for the authors assertion. The author bases her cla...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 89, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...at Adams has more agents than Fitch, and that many of Fitchs agents work only par...
^^^
Line 8, column 94, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...er, the author provides no evidence that the quality of a real-estate firm is dir...
^^^
Line 9, column 94, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ional to the number of its agents or the number of hours per week that its agents...
^^^
Line 10, column 93, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ng such evidence, it is equally possible that a smaller firm is more effective th...
^^^
Line 11, column 92, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... one, and that a part-time agent is more effective than a full-time agent. Beside...
^^^
Line 12, column 93, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r does not provide any information about how many Adams agents work part-time. ...
^^^
Line 15, column 92, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...act that Adams sold more properties last year than Fitch. However, the author ove...
^^^
Line 16, column 92, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...possibility that last years sales volume amounted to an aberration, and that in m...
^^^
Line 17, column 86, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ther years Adams has actually sold fewer properties than Fitch. Moreover, the dis...
^^^
Line 18, column 91, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...sales volume can readily be explained by factors other than the comparative quali...
^^^
Line 19, column 91, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...two firms. Perhaps Adams serves a denser geographic area, or an area where turnov...
^^^
Line 20, column 93, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...wnership is higher for reasons unrelated to Adams effectiveness. Or perhaps sales...
^^^
Line 21, column 85, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ume is higher at Adams simply because it employs more agents, and each Adams agen...
^^^
Line 22, column 85, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tually sells fewer homes on average than each Fitch agent does. Without ruling ou...
^^^
Line 23, column 93, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...native explanations for the disparity in sales volume, the author cannot defend t...
^^^
Line 24, column 87, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...clusion that based on this evidence that Adams is superior to Fitch. In furth...
^^^
Line 27, column 93, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t that the average sales price of a home sold by Adams is greater than the averag...
^^^
Line 28, column 87, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e of a home sold by Fitch. However, this evidence shows only that the homes that ...
^^^
Line 29, column 90, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ls are more valuable on average than the ones that Fitch sells, not that Adams is...
^^^
Line 30, column 98, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...n selling homes than Fitch. Moreover, it is possible that a few relatively high-p...
^^^
Line 31, column 94, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...priced properties skewed these averages, rendering any conclusions about the comp...
^^^
Line 32, column 88, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... quality of the two firms based on these averages unfair. For additional supp...
^^^
Line 35, column 94, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...took Fitch Realty considerable longer to sell one of the authors homes than it to...
^^^
Line 36, column 93, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...lty to sell another one of her homes ten years earlier. However, this disparity i...
^^^
Line 37, column 90, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...able by other plausible factors, such as changing economic conditions during that...
^^^
Line 38, column 97, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
..., or a difference in the desirability of the two properties. Without establishing...
^^^
Line 39, column 99, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ctors affecting the speed of a sale were essentially the same for the two homes, ...
^^^
Line 40, column 89, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...or cannot rely on this limited anecdotal evidence to support her claim. In co...
^^^
Line 43, column 92, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...edible support to her claim. To persuade me that Adams is better than Fitch, the ...
^^^
Line 44, column 89, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ould need to provide clear evidence that individual Adams agents are more effecti...
^^^
Line 45, column 94, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... homes than individual Fitch agents, and that the disparity in home sales and sal...
^^^
Line 46, column 97, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ibutable to that difference. Finally, to better evaluate the authors claim we wou...
^^^
Line 47, column 177, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ams. We would also need more information about the comparative attractiveness of ...
^^^
Line 48, column 91, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s two homes, and the extent to which the residential real-estate market changed d...
^^^
Line 49, column 87, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the decade between the sale of these two homes.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, besides, but, finally, however, if, look, moreover, so, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 28.0 13.6137724551 206% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 54.0 28.8173652695 187% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 72.0 55.5748502994 130% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3327.0 2260.96107784 147% => OK
No of words: 638.0 441.139720559 145% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.21473354232 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.02579962599 4.56307096286 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56960043107 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 236.0 204.123752495 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.369905956113 0.468620217663 79% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1031.4 705.55239521 146% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 10.0 1.67365269461 597% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 10.0 4.22255489022 237% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.1262295499 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 138.625 119.503703932 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.5833333333 23.324526521 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.91666666667 5.70786347227 69% => OK
Paragraphs: 43.0 5.15768463074 834% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 40.0 5.25449101796 761% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.301185889534 0.218282227539 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.111557096818 0.0743258471296 150% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0807085073418 0.0701772020484 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0931366054073 0.128457276422 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0918259853403 0.0628817314937 146% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.4 14.3799401198 114% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.23 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.12 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 129.0 98.500998004 131% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.