The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president."A recent national survey found that the majority of workers with access to the Internet at work had used company computers for perso

Essay topics:

The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.

"A recent national survey found that the majority of workers with access to the Internet at work had used company computers for personal or recreational activities, such as banking or playing games. In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Using electronic monitoring software is the best way to reduce the number of hours Climpson employees spend on personal or recreational activities. We predict that installing software to monitor employees' Internet use will allow us to prevent employees from wasting time, thereby increasing productivity and improving overall profits."

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.

In the recommendation sent by vice president to the company's
president, the author recommends that , to increase productivity of the employee and profit, internet monitoring software must be installed in the company. The claim of the vice president is based on premise: the productivity hampered by employee's involvement on recreational activities. However, before this conclusion is properly evaluated, the author must provide answer to following three questions.

Firstly, will the employee of the industry find other ways to pass time? In other words, is there any evidence that the employee will not find out other recreational activities that may hamper their productivity? The vice president wrongly assumes that employee in the firm will not squander their office time and concentrate solely on their prescribed routine as soon as their internet is monitored. However, it may not be true. May be they pass their time gossiping and involve in nonsensical talks about the show they watched. For all we know, they may have offline games in their computer. Perhaps, they use internet in their mobile totally disregarding their work. If the aforementioned scenario is true, then the conclusion and suggestion of banning the internet will be superfluous.

Secondly, will the purposed monitoring on internet uses dissuade the employee? Is there any evidence that the censoring internet use completely will not demoralize the employee? The author speciously assumes this will not take place. However, this may not be the case. Perhaps, they loose confidence in their work and their productivity will be even less than previously unrestricted environment. Perhaps, they used to complete their work fast and involve in non-productive activities in free time only. If any of these have merit, then original argument will not hold water.

Finally, even if the vice president is able to answer above two questions with compelling justification and evidence, will the cost of installing new monitoring system outweigh the profit generated by increase in employee's productivity? The author fallaciously assumes that the profit will easily exceed the cost of installation. May be the system is very sophisticated and cost of it is very expensive for the company. It is possible that the system is not invented yet. If above is true, then the argument is seriously flawed.

In conclusion, the argument as it stands is severely flawed due to its reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. However, if the author is able to provide answers to these three questions( probably in terms of systematic research) then evaluation of the suggestion of vice
president is possible.

Votes
Average: 7.5 (4 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 38, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...s president, the author recommends that , to increase productivity of the employe...
^^
Line 2, column 239, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'employees'' or 'employee's'?
Suggestion: employees'; employee's
...n premise: the productivity hampered by employees involvement on recreational activities....
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 431, Rule ID: MAY_BE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'maybe' (=perhaps)?
Suggestion: Maybe
...monitored. However, it may not be true. May be they pass their time gossiping and invo...
^^^^^^
Line 6, column 334, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (May) must be used with a third-person verb: 'is'.
Suggestion: is
...ly exceed the cost of installation. May be the system is very sophisticated and c...
^^
Line 6, column 373, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... be the system is very sophisticated and cost of it is very expensive for the com...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, firstly, however, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, in conclusion, in other words

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 47.0 55.5748502994 85% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2251.0 2260.96107784 100% => OK
No of words: 419.0 441.139720559 95% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.3723150358 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52432199235 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.01437504569 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.453460620525 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 709.2 705.55239521 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 52.8461919158 57.8364921388 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.04 119.503703932 75% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.76 23.324526521 72% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.44 5.70786347227 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 7.0 5.15768463074 136% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.67664670659 235% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.106194169807 0.218282227539 49% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0317173995428 0.0743258471296 43% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0459653554907 0.0701772020484 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0956164847395 0.128457276422 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.107708839521 0.0628817314937 171% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 14.3799401198 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 46.78 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.57 12.5979740519 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.42 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 98.500998004 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 419 350
No. of Characters: 2193 1500
No. of Different Words: 183 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.524 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.234 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.931 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 156 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 133 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 106 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 66 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.76 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.533 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.274 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.466 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.087 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5