The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"A recent national survey found that the majority of workers with access to the Internet at work had used company computers for personal or recreational activities, such as banking or playing games. In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Using electronic monitoring software is the best way to reduce the number of hours Climpson employees spend on personal or recreational activities. We predict that installing software to monitor employees' Internet use will allow us to prevent employees from wasting time, thereby increasing productivity and improving overall profits."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries recommends for the installation of electronic monitoring software to increase the productivity of staffs. He strived to shore up his argument by mentioning that staffs played games, and did banking activities on the official computer. However, he has failed to provide many hard facts which really fortifies his argument; due to this reason, his assumption, and finally derived conclusion are utterly skeptical.
First of all, the Vice President (VP) makes this recommendation based on the result of a national survey; however, in the argument, there is no information about the survey and its methodology. Without information about questionnaire, it is really challenging to make any adjudication: the questionnaire, for example, might have asked the employees directly "for how long do they use official computers for their personal purposes?' And there might have options, for the question, ascending from three hours to eight hours. In this case, with no surprise, employees might have opted three hours - which is the lowest available to select. In such context, the premises derived from survey would be misleading, which is no wonder. Clearly, the VP should provide answers of questions like, " what were the detailed contents of the questionnaire?".
Similarly, the claim made by VP explicitly mentions that employees used the computers for their personal and recreational causes. Nevertheless, he doesn't mention that for how long do the employees engage in such activities. In addition, on account for the meager work pressure of company, the employees might have chosen to pass their office hours by doing their personal - and of course recreational too, works. Thus, "how the employees get free time to use their computers for above mentioned works?" is the another question of which he need to supply the answer, if he really want to substantiate his argument.
Finally and probably most importantly, the VP of the company unfairly assumes that installation of electronic monitoring software is the panacea to improve the productivity of staffs at the working station. There are several methods to enhance the creativity of the staffs - like providing bonus, taking them for a study tour and so forth. However, VP is silent regarding why he opted installation of electronic monitoring software as the best and avoided the possibility of other stimulus. Therefore, in order to prop up his argument, the VP should answer to the question of " why he regards installation of electronic monitoring software as the cure-all?".
At the end of the day, the argument, made by the vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries, needs extra hard facts to consider it as reliable. He should not try to avoid concerns raised above for a robust argument regarding productivity enhancement of his company. However, at the present status of the argument, it is not beyond dispute, and likely to get no dice from the concerned high ranking officials who are going to scrutinize this proposal.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 252, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: 'bank'
Suggestion: bank
...oning that staffs played games, and did banking activities on the official computer. Ho...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 259, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'making'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'challenge' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: making
...questionnaire, it is really challenging to make any adjudication: the questionnaire, fo...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 147, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...d recreational causes. Nevertheless, he doesnt mention that for how long do the employ...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 516, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ters for above mentioned works?' is the another question of which he need to...
^^
Line 4, column 591, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[3]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'wants'.
Suggestion: wants
...need to supply the answer, if he really want to substantiate his argument. Final...
^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Finally,
... want to substantiate his argument. Finally and probably most importantly, the VP o...
^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 83, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... VP of the company unfairly assumes that installation of electronic monitoring so...
^^
Line 6, column 386, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ver, VP is silent regarding why he opted installation of electronic monitoring so...
^^
Line 6, column 600, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...to the question of ' why he regards installation of electronic monitoring so...
^^
Line 6, column 648, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...lation of electronic monitoring software as the cure-all?'. At the end of...
^^
Line 8, column 49, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nd of the day, the argument, made by the vice president of human resources at Cli...
^^
Discourse Markers used:
['finally', 'first', 'however', 'if', 'nevertheless', 'really', 'regarding', 'similarly', 'so', 'therefore', 'thus', 'for example', 'in addition', 'of course', 'first of all']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.246503496503 0.25644967241 96% => OK
Verbs: 0.138111888112 0.15541462614 89% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0681818181818 0.0836205057962 82% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0437062937063 0.0520304965353 84% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0437062937063 0.0272364105082 160% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.124125874126 0.125424944231 99% => OK
Participles: 0.0384615384615 0.0416121511921 92% => OK
Conjunctions: 3.09092779005 2.79052419416 111% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0332167832168 0.026700313972 124% => OK
Particles: 0.0034965034965 0.001811407834 193% => OK
Determiners: 0.0979020979021 0.113004496875 87% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0157342657343 0.0255425247493 62% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0192307692308 0.0127820249294 150% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3108.0 2731.13054187 114% => OK
No of words: 491.0 446.07635468 110% => OK
Chars per words: 6.3299389002 6.12365571057 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70728369723 4.57801047555 103% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.401221995927 0.378187486979 106% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.325865580448 0.287650121315 113% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.258655804481 0.208842608468 124% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.179226069246 0.135150697306 133% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.09092779005 2.79052419416 111% => OK
Unique words: 246.0 207.018472906 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.501018329939 0.469332199767 107% => OK
Word variations: 58.6003089641 52.1807786196 112% => OK
How many sentences: 20.0 20.039408867 100% => OK
Sentence length: 24.55 23.2022227129 106% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.3893854638 57.7814097925 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 155.4 141.986410481 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.55 23.2022227129 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.75 0.724660767414 103% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 3.58251231527 307% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 57.1365580448 51.9672348444 110% => OK
Elegance: 1.81395348837 1.8405768891 99% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.573980082697 0.441005458295 130% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.132333977469 0.135418324435 98% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0781235867106 0.0829849096947 94% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.590838250052 0.58762219726 101% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.118228812341 0.147661913831 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.24559522153 0.193483328276 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.13089976648 0.0970749176394 135% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.443566418794 0.42659136922 104% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.082044089502 0.0774707102158 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.405121702976 0.312017818177 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0436134567292 0.0698173142475 62% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.33743842365 108% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.87684729064 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.82512315271 41% => OK
Positive topic words: 8.0 6.46551724138 124% => OK
Negative topic words: 7.0 5.36822660099 130% => OK
Neutral topic words: 2.0 2.82389162562 71% => OK
Total topic words: 17.0 14.657635468 116% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.